Will my ex-girlfriend come back after this kind of weird breakup? Should I tell her now that I don't hate her?

Me and her dated for 2 years, it was just our two year anniversary and her bday. we got into a fight and the fight led to us taking a break because we have been fighting to much lately. We were two weeks into our break and she says that she needs to call it quits. I asked why and she told me that she loves me, cares about me but has decided she just doesn’t want to be in a relationship anymore. She wants to do the single things but she stressed to me that its not about dating she just needs to be single because she has never really been alone for years now and she just wants to hang with the girls etc...She says that as much as I hate her for doing this she really needs to do this… She recently lost her job which has caused a lot of stress in our relationship. Also she hates herself right now because she feels ugly and she is unhappy and she has been not happy for awhile.. She told me she just needs to live a little without “being with someone” and she knows I hate her for this but she loved all the time she spent with me and she said she knows she may never find anyone as good as I am and if that’s true then she has accepted that but she says she really needs to just be single for now. She just needs this change. What do I do in this situation, its been a week with no contact, what else can I do?, your thoughts or similar experiences are appreciated. Thank you


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I understand how upset you must feel, but she has asked not just for a break but for something more permanent. She may feel she is not ready for a long term committed relationship and needs to have fun, go out with the girls etc and not have anyone to answer too. She said she won't be dating. Dating soon after a relationship is ended, is going on a rebound. They do not work. She will perhaps date again, but she may have said she wasn't going to, to spare your feelings. She says she may never find anyone as good as you, yet she leaves you, which in itself is contradictory.

    You are single as well and you should go out and have fun with your friends, etc. She is not contacting you cos she is getting on with her life and you should do the same. You may have been in a serious relationship and felt all those similarities you both had. It is hard to let go of these things. If she comes back and says she wants to talk etc, you may have moved on more than she and found someone else. Or the opposite could happen.

    She gave you no indication of how long she wants to break for. You cannot wait forever, it is unfair of her to expect you to do so.

    Go out and have fun. Join some groups or clubs in a hobby that you like to do. Learn a new language, write or paint...etc...there is sooooooo much you can do and how knows what doors it may open up for you.

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What Girls Said 3

  • sorry...but I think she is just too chicken to be honest with you so this is the easiest way to back out of it. Giving you a glimmer of hope so that you will behave, and then she can get away without feeling bad about it.

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  • You need to NOT call her. Doing so will just push her farther away. She told you want she needs, don't read in between the lines - she needs her space. If she decides that she messed up she will come back to you, and if you're still open to the possibilities great! But at this point you need to get on with your life without her in it.

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  • You just need to wait it out. Be patient. You don't need to sit around and twiddle your thumbs waiting for the phone to ring. She may still love and care about you but she needs her space to grow and be the person she wants to be without the commitment of being in a relationship and having someone to answer too.

    The only thing that is bothering you is, how long will you have to wait for her to come back to you. She never gave you any indication or timeline, but she doesn't expect you to sit at home waiting for her to call or text. She will only do this when she is ready and not on your time.

    You need to get out and enjoy this time, for the time being. Perhaps even learning a new language, taking up a new hobby or interest.

    This website is good, joining is free and some of the hobbies you may have to pay for but its not that much at all, others are free. You can meet with new people and enjoy doing something different.

    link

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What Guys Said 3

  • You can't do anything, she has made up her mind about you and what she wants. Move on to other women out there. She wants to be "free" so she can do what she wants, which is be with other guys and have fun without you. She has basically told you that you are a part of her stress. Leave her alone at all costs. Don't contact her in any way shape or form. Don't be friends with her, doing that will bury you even more, especially when she says that she found someone else (trust me it happens most of the time). The next time a girl says she wants a "break" just say "ok" and walk away. Now is the time to enjoy yourself with other people. Don't look forward to her coming back to you anytime soon if at all. She can't miss you if you are always there. Don't wait for her, she burned that bridge to let her rebuild it and catch up with you. It's not easy, but you have to retain your self respect. Keep your head up, work on yourself, become the alpha male and get women to start chasing you. The more you chase a woman, the more she loses respect for you as a man. Date but don't fall in love. Have fun but don't be clingy. Have girls lined up but don't be greedy.

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  • My ex said pretty much the same to me, 'i want to be single' 'i just want to see what single life is like' etc. What your ex is trying to say is she wants to sleep with other men or already has. That's what my ex had done but just was too gutless to tell me the truth. When things go wrong for her she'l come crying back to you.

    Sorry if that was brutal

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  • You probably need to wait this out. Before you get too attached to her. I suggest taking her advice and try with yourself for a while. Try new things and learn more about yourself. Trust me it's not as daunting as it seems.

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