Should I end it with him?

A guy I been having a booty call with for 2 years off and on has said something really messed up tonight. I asked him if he wasn't with his girlfriend, would we have been together? The reason I asked him this is because I really wish we did more than sex and I like his personality so much although we rarely see each other, I do enjoy his company and can see myself with him so I was just wondering if we would have ever been if she wasn't there to begin with. Then he said he didn't understand why I asked him that and that that is something a prostitute would say to there client but since I'm not one, he doesn't understand why I asked him that. WTF? Do you understand what he is saying guys? BC I may have took him as comparing me to a whore. Can't be a whore if I am sleeping with him only. he's is just back up when I am single. I like him so yeah I'm going to wonder if we could have ever been. how is that something a prostitute would say? makes me realize that maybe he does not really value me at all so I told him to leave. Should I end it?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • 1. You have been a booty call for 2 years and haven't been made girlfriend yet? You are never going to be his girlfriend. If he wanted to be with you he would have by now. He just sees you as someone who is good enough to have sex with but not a girl he would want to date. This is your fault because had you had higher standards about how you allow men to treat you and what you will put up with, you wouldn't be in this situation at all.

    2. You have not only been a booty call for 2 years, but you are sleeping with a guy that has a girlfriend. It would be one thing if he lied to you and hid his girlfriend and you didn't know about her, but you do. No man respects a woman who doesn't respect herself. If he knows you will lower yourself to be a glorified come bucket for a guy who is actually dating another woman, why would he want to upgrade you to girlfriend status? In his eyes you are just something to do. I have a lot of male friends and I work with a bunch of guys on my shift, I hear how they talk about girls like you and it's not pleasant at all. While you are getting attached to him and growing addicted to the time you spend together, he is able to seperate his emotions from sex and pretty much sees you as a tool to be used. Just like when one is thirsty, they drink a glass of water. And when one needs to use a bathroom, they use a toilet. When one is horny and wants quick sex without emotional attachment, they use a booty call. Is that how you really want to be treated?

    3. If you are with a man and all you do is have sex. That means all he wants to do with you is have sex with you. Have you ever noticed that there are some women who can get men to fall in love with them before they even have sex at all? It's because there was something else there. You can emotionally bond with a guy and develop feelings for each other without going to the bedroom, don't let anyone tell you any different. If all you do is have sex then that's all he's going to see you as. A sex partner.

    4. He basically equated you to a prostitute. Read back on my lists #1-3, are you really surprised now that he would say this? You may not be a promiscuous whore, but this man has noted that you lack respect for yourself and are willing to do anything for his approval even when he has obvious contempt for you and sees you as only good for the bedroom. So no, you are not technically a "whore" but can you see why he would degrade you and see you in a degrading way? You aren't exactly carrying yourself as well as you should.

    Liking a man is fine, but you have to love yourself more than you like him. Yes you should end it, and do some soul searching for awhile before you get into another "relationship" again. I think you could do a lot better than the situation you're settling for and you don't need to put yourself through all of that again. Next time, establish a bond and get a relationship with a SINGLE GUY before you put out and invest your feelings into someone who doesn't care.

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    • Thank you so much. The truth hurts and your right. I don't really want a FWB's relationship but it is also hard to find a good guy that I can date consistently. I date all the time and I don't have sex with these guys at all cause I know that's not the way to a reltionship. In this case, I just had needs as a single female and I don't see anything wrong with having fun with someone as long you use protection and there is an understanding. Him havin a Girlfriend was wrong, but I just enjoyed knowin i

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    • Well all guys aren't hypocritical (many of them are) and it's true society does judge girls. but the type of guy who is going to cheat on his girlfriend of over 2 years with someone else and then string her along, is not going to exactly be the progressive type of guy who considers everyone's feelings ya know? Even if you don't wait until you're in a relationship, still don't do it with a man who is in a relationship. You could find that with a guy who is unattached without the drama.

    • Yes. exactly

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What Guys Said 2

  • You should've ended it when you knew he had a girlfriend. But then, this shows you're lack of respect for the other woman.

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  • I'm not really sure what he meant usually its the other way around the client falls for/wants to take care of the prostitute happens a lot with exotic dancers as well. I guess I would say who cares what he meant cut him off for good.

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What Girls Said 2

  • ok so the "bootycall for 2 years" and the "he has a girlfriend" parts are red flags right there. It was wrong what he said to you but honestly you don't need him. Obviously he doesn't respect you (or his girlfriend). Listen and listen well, he is using you for sex. that's it. sex. he does not want a relationship with you. Have respect in yourself and find a man who will want to be with you and only you, and not jsut for sex. but hey, that's my opinion, if you don't think what you guys are doing will ultimately ruin your self esteem then go for it! but I wouldn't recommend that...

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    • You right and yes I do want a relationship and been dating but can't seem to find a good man and I have needs and he cater to that so we had an understanding of what it was but deep down inside I don't like allowin a man to ocme over to have sex with me and that's it. but what he said to me today was very disrespectful and confussing because a prostitue could care less about being with a client since its a business about money, not personal. It is normal for a girl in a sexual relationship with a guy to

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    • The fact that he even mentioned the word prostitute just means that you need to let him go. I know you have feelings for him and you don't want to end it but if you want to truly be happy in life and with yourself you need to let him go. I have no idea what he meant by that and it doesn't matter if you understood it or not either because it OBVIOUSLY wasn't a compliment of ANY kind. I know you want to fight me on this but cut him loose hun...

    • Oh I don't love him . I just like him but yeah I can't believe he said that either. makes no sense and funny you say that it was not a compliment of any kind because he said I should take it as a compliment because I'm not a prostitute asking him that. What? lol! Like you said, just the fact that he said prostute lets me know what category he is tryin to put me in. my goodness so yeah I told him he had to go and its not hard to end it. he's a goner

  • umm not to be so blunt but duh end it. and of course he doesn't value you...no offense but OK him having a girlfriend and you being his bootycall, do you really think that he would make a great bf? seriously? and why are you doing this to yourself? selling yourself short,so OK he's the only one you have sex with but he has a girlfriend so why would you be a homewrecker? seriously would you like it if you had a boyfriend and you had no idea he was having sex with someone else? omg...what is the world coming to...

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    • Never thought of it that way and you are right? I guess because its a way of feeling wanted since my dating life hasn't wrked out yet. Never can find what I want cause most guys just want one thing or don't want to do anything but I have my needs too and was cool with our situation for a while bgut now I'm feeling more and more each time used when all I want is a guy for me but somethin always happens that keeps me feelinf trtapped in this single life.im startin to think I'm suppose to be alone. sad :(

    • Dont feel that way.....well I know I can't just tell you how to feel, but come on girl be confident and respect yourself and look at things positively....trust me my life isn't so great right now and I feel alone and upset too with the way things are going in my life.....but if you respect yourself then others witll respect you too, and don't ever sell yourself short, your better than that, and you shouldn't have to be someones 2nd choice. I guess it just takes time....

    • Yeah I have to be patient and learn to be alone aand I'm sure things will change for the better.

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