So here's the thing, I still love her, but I'm losing interest in her. But there's so much more that bothers me about her. She has the lamest personality imaginable, she is childish, and she makes me cringe whenever she attempts to be funny. She is also embarrassing to be around in public. Probably the only reason we ever became interested in each other was because we went to the same church. But now, I don't even go to church anymore and I also don't believe in god anymore either, but I know she's still a strong believer. Coincidentally, one of her friends today told me "how are you able to date this girl?", and that really got me thinking.
Also today, we were hanging out at her place, and I was sitting on her couch thinking very deeply about how I can even tolerate her. A few moments later, she came to the couch and cuddled with me. But here's the thing: I felt nothing. Usually when she cuddled with me it would feel good, but this time I felt nothing at all. Was it maybe the realization that I am losing interest in her?
I know she's taking anti depressants at the moment, so she has it really bad. Obviously breaking up with her will cause her to get severely depressed, but there's really nothing much I can do about it other than to just be friends with her.
How I even tolerated her in the first place confuses me now. I guess that I thought I could somehow "teach" her how to not be so god damn annoying, and so I tolerated it for the time being. But I now realize that what I was trying was hopeless. And stupid. I guess there really isn't anymore room for the option of staying with her. She doesn't even know that I don't believe in god anymore, so me telling her that should be more than enough to convince her to lose interest in me. If not, and I carelessly try to dump her, I may end up hurting her.
Most Helpful Girl
It sounds like you don't want to be with her anymore. You've given many reasons why she annoys you so there's your answer. You shouldn't just "tolerate" the person you are in a relationship with. That's not fair to her or to you. You both deserve to be with someone who really loves you, who you really care about, and WANT to be around.
It's understandable that you don't want to hurt her but ultimately, you have to do what's best for you. If you aren't truly happy with her then you just have to rip off the band-aid and end it. Break-ups suck so she will likely be hurt no matter how you do it. I think it's best to just be honest and say something like, "I'm sorry but I don't think this is working out anymore" and just go from there.1