Can you really be friends with an ex?

  • Yes
    Vote A
  • No
    Vote B
  • Other... (share your experiences)
    Vote C
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2249

Most Helpful Guy

  • Yes and no. In my experience it's almost never a true friendship post breakup.

    To me a friendship is only a true friendship when that is all both parties want and nothing more. They don't want to prove they're happier than you or to make sure you're not doing "too well". They don't want to check in on you for any reason other than catching up on a friend. They're not checking you out physically and thinking about your sexual past or what it would be like to do that again now (even for a moment). They're not thinking "I made the right or wrong decision" in the breakup. They're just experiencing you as a friend and wanting nothing more than that. There's no jealousy or competitiveness of any kind.

    Having that with an ex is almost impossible, unless you were platonic friends in the beginning and even then it's hard. So while yes it's totally possible to be "friends" with an ex. You'll never really be friends again. It's not the same thing. Just friendly towards one another and share some good memories.

    A good contrast (assuming you're straight) is think about your friendship with a close friend of the same sex. If the emotions of that friendship are the exact same with an ex, then it's possible for you to have that with that particular ex. Because a guy isn't looking at his guy friend thinking about fucking him, even for a second. He's not thinking about what "could have been" because he's not gay lol. Same for straight girls towards other female friends.

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    • This is hands down the best and most well thought out response so far!!

    • a lot of experience trying to be friends post breakup lol.

Most Helpful Girl

  • Absolutely. I'm friends with a number of my exes. No old feelings left over, we've all moved on and are with new people and happy.

    People who can't accept a change in the relationship dynamic or who still hold the idea there may still be a chance... those people will not be able to maintain a platonic relationship without serious difficulty.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 48

  • yes. one of my closer friends is an ex

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    • How is that going for you two? Do you still have feelings for her?

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    • So you're example is proof that it's possible!

    • of my 5 relationships prior to my wife i am friends with one ex, good acquaintances with another. it really depends on if a platonic friendship existed prior to or developed during the relationship and then a major factor becomes how the relationship ends which determines if ex's can be friends

  • Nope it never worked out the moment they start bringing up other guys it's like setting off a time bomb

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    • That would mean you would still have feelings. What if you’ve moved on? Would you be able to be friends or still no?

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    • Disregard these words here. I'm on my voice command and it was voice command error and it got sent by accident.

      and Stay Awhile while this is not good at settle this out that you're going to be okay man

    • So basically you are what I thought you were, but even worse. The kind of person you are disgust me. You have been on this site so you can't make any excuses that you weren't on. This time I'm done with you and I don't want to be socializing with you anymore. Unless you come back here one day and change your ways 100%. I will be okay my eyes and I will get back into the swing of
      of things very quickly cuz I am a former athlete and I'm coming back. I'm a hard worker and I'm in the gym working out

  • It's difficult to say the least. I broke up with my ex because I lost interest. A few days ago, she told me that she hated me. I tried to keep a civil friendship just for the sake of keeping touch because we had a peaceful breakup, but even that didn't work. In my opinion, it's possible to remain as friends with your ex but it's quite unlikely. Love can grow out of friendship, but friendship doesn't grow out of love.

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  • Sorta. I can interact with her. I love her more then anything or anyone on the planet. however, it isn't like I can go out with her and the fucktard she is with. I would have a very difficult time not stabbing the fucker in the eye or shooting him as I usually am carrying a concealed pistol. While I could never hurt her, he is a cheating piece of shit. so it is best I stay away.

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  • I don't see why not? Two people that like each other that now just find themselves in different situations. It should be like that, but I think people subconsciously make it awkward because there is almost an expectation that it might be awkward. I choose to stay as friends!

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  • It's definitely tough.

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  • Sometimes you can but your real hot and pebbly get a lot of attention which would drive me crazy so in your case I'd say no

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    • Thank you for the response and compliment by the way! I think for many couples the sexual chemistry is what really makes it difficult to be friends. Think about it, they know everything about your body and what “gets you going.” this can make it very difficult but if that tension is gone, I think it’s possible.

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    • I think the best answer is that everyone’s situation is different. Some might deem it necessary to cut ties while others can move on with them in your life.

    • Losing a girl that looks like you would be a hard pill to swallow
      I'd have to take the immature approach and say goodbye for good, just for my own sanity lol

  • In cases it is possible. It depends on how the relationship ends and if you guys were friends before hand.

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  • That was pretty weird in my case. While we were friends, whenever she wanted me back, I kind of had to comply, but whenever I wanted her back, she only complained about why she broke up with me.

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  • Yes I've been friends with my closest gf's for many years now
    My only ever two real love gf's I'm both friends with still...1 for over 20 years and the others is coming on 6 years maybe

    I'll know them till death... they are like family now... I'll always be there and so would they...

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  • Not really... It would hurt my self respect!

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    • Why do you say that?

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    • I can’t understand that as nobody likes to get dumped. Your way better off anyway!

  • No you can't. its just a big bullshit that never works

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  • ehhh no not really #1 if you have a new partner having any relationship even a "friendship" with your ex is disrespectful to your current partner and inappropriate. #2 you still have some feelings for them especially if its a recent breakup the feelings are tucked behind in the back of your mind but they only surface when you see them

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  • Yeeeeeaaa... maybeeeee... probablyyy... I dunno...

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  • Sometimes, not always, not if there's feeling left, it gets awkward

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    • I agree that it varies from situation to situation! Thank you for your response!

  • No. An ex is an ex for a reason. Never look back.

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  • I can't. I can be cordial and friendly but I I don't have the desire to hang out, talk, etc. like I would with any of my other friends.

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  • No, because if you can be friends with your ex, you never cared enough about them to have a proper relationship anyway.

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  • I've seen it happen

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  • Don’t even try

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  • No. At least not for me personally. There's no point. If me or the other person didn't feel like we were good enough to maintain a romantic relationship, why would either one of us settle for a downgrade of a friendship and watch the other person make it work with someone else. That would be insulting to me

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  • My ex is still was my best friend before we dated, and she is still my best friend now. There's no awkwardness there, we went back to how we were before we dated.

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  • Depends on the inderviduals I'm still friends with some of my ex's

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    • Have any of your exes started dating other people? If so, was it awkward for you or did you move on at that point?

    • Ye they have and I'm fine with it... its only awkward if you make it awkward

  • I tried but it didn't work

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  • If I had an ex girlfriend I wouldn't be able to be friends with them. There's a reason why they are considered ex.

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  • Generally, no. It mainly depends on the conditions of how the relationship ended.

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  • You could be friends with your ex but that's something i wouldn't do.

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  • How would I know? I don't have an ex

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  • No..

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  • We didn't stay necessary as friends. I think is possible, is not my case though.

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  • More from Guys
    18

What Girls Said 21

  • I think so, but only under some pretty special circumstances. Either a) you were good friends all along and the breakup was a mutual decision, preferably because both started losing attraction for each other around the same time. So things ended on a positive, or at least neutral, note. Or b) things might have not ended so great but you had a good connection (albeit a platonic one) and you're willing to overlook any bad things that might have happened during the relationship or breakup, because you'd rather keep being friends.
    Happens rarely but it's not completely unheard of.

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    • Oh, and having 0 romantic/sexual attraction also helps.

  • No I can’t be friends with an ex. Things would just feel really weird 😕

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    • Surprisingly when I was with my ex everything was fine! We stayed so close but occasionally (and I seriously mean once in a blue moon) we’d have sex, but rarely through the 4 years of us broken up. But he cut me off to move on... and said I was a distraction 😂 so I can understand that because it’s definitely awkward now!

  • it all depends on how you broke and why you broke up. if you're in a new relationship you should stop talking to any ex in general cause it could damage your current relationship also it causes problems especially if the new person has jealous or trust issues if not it could cause trust issues

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  • I have always found people being friends with an ex odd to me. Like you couldn't make it work when you were actually together but some how they click just find when the relationship is over? I could understand if it wasn't a long term thing and they weren't dating for that long, but like 2 or more years and they act like buddies just doesn't make sense to me. But anyways, if people want to be friends with their ex that's fine and dandy, some people can others can't it just really depends on the break up and how close/comfortable they are with each other. However, a lot people are going to be down with being friends with an ex, a lot of people feel like it's either over or it's not cause some people just don't see the point of being friends with an ex. Tried it, but in the end we stopped talking when I got into a new relationship and official stopped talking for other personal reasons. So No I don't think i could be friends with an ex again, I just don't see a point.

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    • I never looked at it in that way. That actually frustrates too, however, some people are just better off as friends. Thank you so much for your detailed response! It's great to see someone really give their input rather than a yes or no answer.

  • Two past lovers can't be friends

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  • You could if you were basically already best friends in the relationship and take enought time away from eachother so that there's no lingering feelings.

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  • I have my friend who have past relationship. They broke up because the girl couldn't forget her old crush (but she never be her old crush gf). They seem to break up happily. The guy bothered her for awhile. He thought it wasn't work, so he agreed to her to be a friend. Since then she didn't talk to him even greeting him when they walk pass.

    1 year later, Luckily they were randomly in same work group. They both had a presentation together, she helped his work closely but still silent, ignored him and didn't talk to him.

    Now it 4 years, Although she meet him often, she still act the same. I heard from her close friend (who is his close friend too) that she still complain about him such as he isn't an attractive person, he tell her eat too much, he don't buy her a doll.

    I don't know why...

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  • It's funny cause I just read this article: meetville. com/blog/having-sex-with-your-ex-pros-and-cons/
    It's more about being friends with benefits but still...
    So, in general, it's possible but only if you are sure that you can handle it emotionally.

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  • I think it's hard to be friends with an ex, because you two made love together which is a really emotional and powerful connection. You shared your inner most personal life with that person. And all things like that. Every one is different though

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  • Yes, but it's very rare and the whole "let's remain friends" thing is usually just a polite way of saying, "goodbye forever". Usually there would be too much hurt caused in the relationship/breakup to be friends with someone who made you feel like that, or there would just be too much awkwardness.

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  • It depends on why you guys broke up

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  • It really depends. If your ex is a cool person in general, it shouldn't be hard to be friends with them. If they're weird in to many ways, 9/10 it won't happen lol.

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  • I think it would depend on the circumstances as to why you broke up. Some people are able to stay friends, however there are certain cases in which it is best not to stay friends

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  • I believe it's possible, but it depends on why you broke up. There are couples that break up without any hard feelings, just the affection is no more there. But still can be friends.

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  • Ill let you know if it actually works.

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  • Eww no

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  • It depends on how you left the relationship. Most of my exs I am. One we try to be civil because we have children together but we can't stand him.

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  • No I would be awkward and professional

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  • No my ex still tries, but i just feel really awkward.

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  • I think it's harder for guys to let go of their exes, not saying it isn't hard for girls but it's much more in case of guys.

    I guess it's because they're posessive by nature and feel that they still have some kind of ownership over their exes. It'll also hurt their ego big time if she finds another guy.

    So it's hard for them to remain friends after a breakup.

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  • Its hard and most likely NO..

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