Mom wanting to date less than a year after my dads passing. Would this be ok with you as a son/daughter?

Let me start off by saying that I know it's her life and her business and she's going to do what she's going to do regardless of my opinion, BUT I just can't get over feeling how wrong this seems. It seems like it's dishonorable to my dad and I just can't be supportive if that. I will never let another man replace my dad in my life and I don't know why she would want to try and do that. It really hurts me and I'll never be supportive of this. I was just wondering if anyone else has gone through this and what your opinions are. Thanks.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • A old man i knew lost his wife at age 63, he never dated another woman, his wife was his last. He died at age 81.
    I dont like it how easily they can be replaced. If you want to date again wait some years...

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Less than year? O I would be absolutely angered by that. I know you have to move on a eventually and want to find happiness again, but if someone you're married long has recently died and you're out here trying to meet new men less than year sends warning signals to me. It's says that dad/your husbands death didn't fully effect you in some way. Now I know some people do try to seek comfort in others when they're distressed, lonely, or depressed, but if she doesn't seem that way and she's just really excited and getting all doll up to get in back in the dating world... then something is wrong unless you're parents have been divorced/separated?

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    • No they were married. He was 53 and so is she.

    • Ooh ok yeah that is strange to me, I would feel very uncomfortable with her already looking for another partner and your dad hasn't been gone for a year. It's either her way of coping or your dad's death didn't mean much to her.

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What Guys Said 19

  • i would be logical and not let my emotions cloud my judgement,
    the one who is gone is gone, but the one who is still here deserves every chance at happiness,
    imagine how you will feel when she is gone! and you realize that you didn't support a chance she had to happiness again. .

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  • I see where you are coming from, sorry about your dad
    I don't think anyone's going to try to replace him

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  • Actually this is part of the grieving process. Your mom hasn't forgotten about your dad I'm sure but psychologically your mom wants some normalcy in her life. And people with out partners often seek new ones. That what is deemed normal. She may grieve forever but this is the last part of grievance: acceptance

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  • Every one mourns differently, some take years others take a few months it doesn't mean that she didn't and doesn't love and miss your dad any less

    No one will ever replace your dad but you can't expect your mother to stay a widow for the rest of her life

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  • My mom started dating after my dad died like.. 4months later.

    And I always say "as long as it makes you happy".
    Cause it is her partner, not mine.
    The new partner will never replace my dad and that is also not what he wants/should want.

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What Girls Said 13

  • I am actually going through the same thing except my mother died at 53 and my father was 58. I'm 30 so it's hard and it won't be easy but you have to let them be happy as much as you feel like they are forgetting the other parent... they aren't. People move on but unfortunately enough you and I will never get over the loss of our parents.

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  • Are you sure she's trying to replace your dad? Or that he is?
    Probably he'll never be aple to replace your dad, neither for you nor for your mom. Not wanting to replace him doesn't mean she can be happy with his memory alone in the long run though.
    I'd think more of it as a movie sequel than a remake.(and let's be honest, no sequel ever measures up to the original, but sometimes they're not all bad.)

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  • I mean, I'd be upset but logically, I don't think there's anything wrong wit doing so. I don't believe it's too soon though as I said, in that situation where I'm not thinking rationally but more with my emotions, I'd likely be unhappy with the decision.

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  • It wouldn't be my business. Why should this person put their life on hold for me? It's selfish of me to prevent them. You only get one life.

    She's not replacing him. Nobody can replace your dad. But why should she be alone for the rest of her life because you don't want her to see anyone else?

    You don't have to support it but don't stand in her way. You've no right to do so.

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    • I'm not supporting it and I've made it clear if she wants a relationship with me then disrespecting my dads honor like that is not acceptable.

    • She's not disrespecting your dads honor. Do you think your mum should just curl up and die as well? Because you're not allowing her to have a life. And it's not your business to control her like that.

  • I think that you need to take a step back and see that this isn’t about you, and that at 25 years of age you should be able to have a bit of perspective over the situation.
    Why don’t you want your Mum to be happy? Should she be alone until you feel ready to see her with someone else, and what if you never feel that way?

    I highly doubt she is trying to replace your father, for you or even for herself but when someone is used to having a partner being lonely just amplifies that loss. She’s dipping her toe into dating, not walking down the aisle again

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