Do breakups make people meaner towards others?

I never really yell at anyone or offend them. Like never. I am very calm and patient. Sometimes I feel emotionally weak because I have 0 wickedness and anger in me. I have never dated anyways. Ahaha
Most rude people I have met have had lots of breakups and hookups

Updates:
*sorry I meant I have dated but never had sex

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  • I believe so, but any kind of emotional pain can change a person. The meanest of people are often the most injured souls. They just don't know how to productively channel their anger and pain. They can become less trusting of other people , and are always on the defense. They can become paranoid , and believe everyone will hurt them.

    The phrase "pain changes people" is so true. It can define a person in a negative way , and they can become someone they even dislike themselves

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    • I agree. Poeple say pain changes people in a positive lens but it only makes them hateful and spiteful

    • hello fitness
      how is the best way to deal with this people and re-build trust with them?(i have caused no harm , but he has suddenly became paranoid , defensive and mean , it escalated over a few months now he has deleted me on facebook which is an excessive move ) thank you

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 39

  • Sometimes it makes a person bitter. But I think a lot of people can kind of separate situations.

    I think that certain things can make someone bitter. I think that certain situations can make a person overly cautious... it depends who and what the situation is.

    I think that if I got into a new relationship, that old relationships wouldn’t become an issue. But overall, say, rejection definitely affects how I interact in general. Who I ask out, who I’m interested in, etc. but dating a lot wouldn’t necessarily make me jaded or bitter.

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  • Look, I would actually pay money to give half of my empathy away. And if I could get rid of it all, I would. My younger brother doesn't have one ounce of empathy in his entire self and he will tell anyone to go fuck themselves without knowing them at all. He is also 11 years in on an 18 year federal prison sentence. I have fell for the "my grandmother is sick" story 100 times but not giving money. For wasting my time feeling sorry for someone who isn't sick & doesn't exist.

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  • It all depends on the actual breakup as there are times some people are not really meant for each other and part their ways and then there are bad break ups where a person can learn from their mistakes and move on. If a person becomes meaner about it then they really need to exercise some self control...

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  • it can. break ups can cause huge strains on our emotions so if a person is feeling especially emotional then they could have outburst towards others

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  • Yes because your heart i broken on the soul.. so you need someone to fix it for you to be back to your good old but true self

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  • It doesn't make me more angry towards women, it makes me genuinely less interested in women. I think getting mad and getting mean is a mistake, but becoming more cautious is a good thing.

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  • If they are of a weak character then yes, it may be so.

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  • Breakups often tend to open people's eyes about how shitty people can be.
    So while they might not make people "meaner" they certainly can make them more cautious and less trusting.
    That usually goes for any conflict.

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  • Tough question, I suppose depends on nature of the breakup - I would suspect a bit of change after a recent breakup but over time a return to the way you were

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  • The sad truth is that some people and I'm saying some just don't separate their feelings from the reality and who are they talking to.

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  • Ideally it should be mutually accepted thing even if it’s not what’s you want and there’s no cheating there’s no excuse to be an ahole

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  • I have very little patience after a breakup. As such i can be cross with friends, family or coworkers. But it goes away after a while and I'm back to normal.

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  • Dude how come 99% of your questions are “I’m 30 and I’m a virgin so does that make me better than everyone else?”

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  • No it doesn't make people meaner. But it definitely makes people guarded and closed off in the beginning.

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  • I think it depends on how the person takes the break up and some would be a lot less talkative while others won't. In the same way that breakups make people meaner towards someone, it just depends on the individual

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  • Meaner? No... Colder? Hell yes.

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  • So that's one of those cause and effects you're just jumping to? Egads.

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  • Not really I think the reason for that is the other way round. They have many break ups because they are mean

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    • How are u 30 with no sex? I didn't have sex till I was an adult but that's a bit longer

  • Rudeness is inherent. It's a choice whether to be rude or not.

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  • Man, f***ing people make me meaner towards others.

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  • for a while love...

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  • It can in a way.

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  • Sometimes

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  • yep, recently i have become one.

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  • Yes this happend with me, my personality has been changed since my seperation

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  • I think they can jade people, and jaded people. can come. of meaner

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  • Not meaner but it can build barriers that you're more reluctant to drop

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  • Kind off, your guards are more up than before

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  • It does to a point because when a breakup happens, a lot of built up anger begins to come out in all the wrong ways

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  • Yes, it definitely does

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  • More from Guys
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What Girls Said 14

  • A lot of this is due to bitterness. And yes, it often does happen, depending on the person, their character, personality, and the amount of damage that was done in the relationship before the breakup. Breaking up overall is not easy for some, but can come naturally to others. The problem is the more emotionally invested or if they have been sexual, naturally it will cause a lot of problems. The closer you become the grave it gets when you get torn apart. The pain that person feels can be lashed out at others who don't understand or take it too lightly. It's not about if your wicked or not. It's about how that experience changed you and turn you into a person your not. Especially if you're sensitive.

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  • I absolutely hate it when guys in the past have told me they are dubious towards all women because of a past flame. We all get burned, not one person out there hasn't been. Even if you have never dated, you still experience being taken advantage of in one way or another in life. So for me, when men lead with this conversation it makes me second guess what i'm doing with them. Because that's a line we are all entitled to use. If i feel sorry for him, then he should feel sorry for me, as we have all been there. It's not a private members club. :)

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  • Yes I think so. After my first breakup I felt miserable, heartbroken and angry. I was short tempered and moody towards people. But then that's just because when something shitty happens that you dwell on, it's going to make you feel rotten, so your not going to feel like being nice and friendly towards people. Why would you want to?

    But I wouldn't say if someone is mean that's automatically because they've went through a breakup… but that could be one of the many reasons for being in a mood. But more simply, not everyone is a nice person, which you'll discover through seemingly sweet people you have a relationship with.

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  • If the break-ups are always tough and the person always blames it on them, yes.
    So basically, it might make you meaner if:
    -you got cheated on/in any other way betrayed
    -they didn’t break it off in a nice, calm manner and started yelling etc.
    -it happens a lot and no one tells you why or what was “wrong” with your relationship
    -all the blame is continiously put on you. I see a lot of people that blame their so while they broke up with the person. No, it’s not because the person was clingy, it’s because you felt as though they were too clingy.

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  • Depends on the person. I was recently rejected by someone I am interested in dating, and we're still friends.
    Learning how to deal with rejection is part of being an adult. Not everyone is going to be compatible.

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    • So I'm just curious you could actually like and interested in someone but not date them?

    • @Shay2323 I would have liked to date him, but he does not see me that way. Stung a bit at first. Still, we have a similar sense of humor, and we hang out. I'm alright with it. It would suck more to lose him as a friend, so I'm just letting it go and let it be what it is.

  • I think people become more cautious and some even close their doors completely to get into anotehr relationship as they believe the next relationship will be the same as the one they had before. Which I find it unfair., not all people are the same. Is like a guy I like he was married a very long time ago like 11 years ago, and their marriage lasted 4 years and after that he never got into another relationship anymore not even to date cause he shut his heart and doors to other possible ones as he does nto want to go through the same thing again like all the relationship drama etc he now does not want to be tied down and just enjoy and want his freedom. Do this make him selfish or not? He just like to have friends and hang out but just that, the moment he starts to develops something for that lady friend, he backs off.

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  • I think any sort of let down or rejection can open a wound in people. It dissolutions them and leaves them cynical. People like that tend to lash out and act callous. Misery loves company and all that jazz.

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  • No, if anything it made me nicer. I was shown love and true care.. I wanted to pass that on to other people in my life. Before, I was self-centered but realized it 's not just about me.. i want to make others happy.

    I'm pretty sad about the breakup and I wasn't on my best behaviour, so I'm learning to change that part.

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  • For people that hold grudges like that they could probably feel some type of way towards the next person, but just for no reason I don't know that may be their personality

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  • sometimes

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  • Made me bitter and not trust anyone.

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  • well for lots of people, yeah cuz they're emotional babies

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  • After my marriage of 10 years failed i became very bitter towards love ansld relationships. Now i just don't trust anyone which is an issue because now i push those that truly love me away from me

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  • Frustration is expressed in anger

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