Guys, what would make you avoid/ignore your ex-girlfriend after a breakup?

I'm sorry if it seems dumb, but I'm just so confused and hurt. Before we first started dating, we were best friends and he knew I was scared of messing up the friendship that came with it but he assured me it'd be fine..
But now he doesn't talk to me and if he does, it's because I initiated and he answers like a robot.
I broke up with him, because it honestly felt like I was putting so much energy into it and he wasn't.
It's 3 months later, I don't want to date him but I want my best friend back.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • To be honest, the reason which you gave for breaking up with him is vague and generally people use it when they do not wanna tell the exact reason (like if they like someone else).

    Maybe he also thought the same thing, but respected your decision and went along. But if you start acting like bffs with him, he will not be able to reciprocate (no one would). It may just feel like you tried your "options" and now want to be back. Or like you want to keep him in "friendzone".

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    • The reason, in the best way I can explain it, is that I just didn't feel like I was important to him anymore, and it was just painful lol.. I thought breaking up and moving on and not having feelings for him would make it easier. I haven't had any interest in anyone else except him.

    • But it might not look like that to him. It could look like you just want "benefits" of friends with keeping yourself open for everyone else.

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What Guys Said 6

  • Simple answer is that she either broke my heart and it hurts too much to try and stay in contact, knowing she will inevitably be with someone else, or that you are annoying him because you broke up and are still trying to have your cake and eat it too.. in essence.. if he started being lethargic toward you while you were together, I don't think I'd expect breaking up with him to fix that.

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  • I always distance myself from my ex's, but not after telling them I'd still be their friend afterwards.

    It's demoralizing to get broken up with and it's insulting. Everytime the guy sees you he'll be reminded of that painful moment.

    It's best to just let him go.

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  • He wants to believe he's the dumper.

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  • From my own experience it's hard to see things that remind you of your ex. It's easier to forget/get over what happened when you're not reminded of the person

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  • Reread what you wrote and try to pretend its someone else's post and try to figure out what you find is wrong with all of that thinking and let us know if you see anything wrong with it or if it answers your questions

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    • lol, i'd tell another person to move on and let it go, but damn it's hard

  • Tell him how you feel

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    • I did, but he just denies it lol kind of makes me feel like I'm crazy, which I guess I kind of am after trying even after all this time

    • You're not crazy for wanting your friendship back

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