Why is my ex trying to hurt me on purpose?

My boyfriend of 3 years and I broke up about 3 months ago He says he doesn't love me or want me back. But texts or calls for the most random things. Makes excuses to get me over there. When I'm dumb and cave it's just like we are together. I feel the love from him in his actions the way he looks at me touches me , talks to me calls me my pet name. We have huge fights and say we never wanna talk again he tells me to move on then texts me like it never happened a few days later. During the last fight he told me I needed to find someone and angry I told him maybe I had started seeing someone new. After that we texted on a daily basis but the physical contact stopped. We fought Sunday I called him out on having this girl at his house the night before when he had talked about getting with me all day the day before. He told me he did it cause it would hurt me. And he knew I was sleeping with the guy I'm seeing. He also said he still cares and does love me but doesn't want to be together. But doesn't wanna hurt me and wants to be able to talk to me and hang out like friend I told him I was blocking him for 30 days I need to try and heal and after that we would see. I honestly think he is acting out of jealousy cause deep down he doesn't wanna lose me but the thought of me actually moving on with someone else hurt him even though he's the one who told me to do it. But he has controlled the entire break up. i know me enforcing no contact gives me back equal ground but this is such a mess and so hard cause I know the love is there but he has to make the choice. It feels like the first time we broke up he acts the same way as then. And it was all his ego and trying to be cruel to hide how much it hurt him. I just wanna know if I'm doing the right thing he is the love of my life But I know I have to stand my ground cause he has been using knowing how much I still love him to get me to do whatever he wants and it's not right. Please help
Why is my ex trying to hurt me on purpose?
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