I am crazy! What should I do?

I tried to mobe on from my ex who was the love of my life, but I couldn't. Anyways, for three months I have been emailing him almost daily. And I know he reads my emails because of a tool I use. I tried to stop writing but I couldn't. I have written goodbye emails and all, but the chill I habe when I know he reads the emails makes me keep writing. I am literally convinced that only death would stop me, because I tried hard to stop but nothing seems to work. Help please, no mocking needed.
I am crazy! What should I do?
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