My gfs parents hate me, should I break up with her?

My girlfriend comes from a very strict family. We're both 19 years old and started dating a little over a year ago, but we were friends for a long time before that. We hid our relationship for months before I convinced her to tell them. And even then, at first they weren't okay with it but eventually came to accept us. Lately my gfs little sister told my parents that my girlfriend and I had sex and they blew up. They were beyond mad, because in her culture girls aren't supposed have sex before marriage, even though she doesn't believe in all that. They eventually went through her phone and found out I smoked weed before and that made them even more angry. After all the fighting, they sort of gave up and told her they don't care what she does or if she continues to date me, but they still won't like me. Her parents said I'm a disaster and ruined their family. As bad as it is, it hurts to be called all that. Me and girlfriend love each other a lot and she doesn't want to break up. She'd do anything to keep us together. I want my gfs parents to like me but I don't know if I can continue the relationship with them hating me. I love her a lot and I really don't want to lose her. We both lost our virginity to each other.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • There's this movie called "Bend it Like Beckham" (and "My Big Fat Greek Wedding") that deals with a similar problem. I highly suggest you both watch it. Why?
    Because it actually handled the problem the right way... in the very, very end. Lol. The girl's parents were from a strict culture and she had to be a change (for good). You see, a girl's family is her FAMILY. Same for yours. You need to win over her parents, slowly but surely. Because if you guys do end up together for life or whatever, it'll be nice to spend holidays with them. It'll be nice that they can enjoy the birth of your children with you. It'll be nice when you guys need each other that you can be there.
    If not, you guys will never want to spend holidays with them (driving a wedge in your and your girl's relationship), she'll always argue with them and they'll always see you as a thief- the one who stole their daughter from them. Instead of the son who asked for permission. (The thing about permission, it really isn't about the woman. It's about a man asking if it's okay to possibly join that family).

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck no. You know, there`s a reason why i like to be called indifferent, wich i am most of the time. Noone can hurt your feelings if you just don`t care about what they say. For example i was sitting there at 12 years old at my grandpa`s funeral just bored waiting for the whole thing to end so i can get on with my day. He was an amazing man and I don't know what the fuck happenned but i suddenly burst into tears and we left. Nothing after that. Didn`t care, forgot about it. It`s soooo god damn nice. For example in eight grade when you gotta make a list of 10 high schools you wanna go to, anyone whould be nervous as fuck, i was calm and collected because i just truthly didn`t give a single fuck about what happenned next.

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Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 1

  • It's up to her how much their opinion matters not you. They sound like they wouldn't approve of anybody.

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What Guys Said 5

  • Are you going out with your girl or her parents?

    There's your answer

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  • It is very hurtful to be hated but you probably could have seen this coming.
    If your relationship with your girlfriend is good, carry on and do your best to minimise contact with the parents.
    And tell your girlfriend to put a lock on her phone.

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  • Date her to spite them. Dating kids have sex. It's just a reality most parents don't want to face. I tell my daughter if you do have sex. Make sure you make it count with someone that cares for you. Be responsible about it.

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  • Hell no. Try to make amends for your girlfriend. She won't feel right getting closer without their blessings.

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  • Ur dating her, not her parents.

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