My boyfriend broke up with me almost a year ago. We haven't had any contact for months, I deleted all his photos, don't have any of his things anymore, he doesn't have any social media that I even could look at, and yet I wake up every morning to think about him and the pain of having lost him just doesn't get weaker. I tried moving on with casual sex, with actual relationships, and mostly with just being single and traveling and enjoying myself in this last year, but still I miss him everyday. I have a great career and friends and hobbies, but whenever I don't distract myself, he's in my head. I just don't know what to do for it to stop and me to be able to move on.
To be clear, I was by myself for most of the past year, I hooked with people for maybe a month and dated someone for two months. After that I just tried being on my own and living my life and being happy with myself. Which I am, but I still miss him.
Also no, it wasn't the first relationship. It was the first man I felt like I actually wanted to spend years of my life with, but not the first boyfriend or love.