What do you guys do to get over breakups?

My boyfriend broke up with me almost a year ago. We haven't had any contact for months, I deleted all his photos, don't have any of his things anymore, he doesn't have any social media that I even could look at, and yet I wake up every morning to think about him and the pain of having lost him just doesn't get weaker. I tried moving on with casual sex, with actual relationships, and mostly with just being single and traveling and enjoying myself in this last year, but still I miss him everyday. I have a great career and friends and hobbies, but whenever I don't distract myself, he's in my head. I just don't know what to do for it to stop and me to be able to move on.
To be clear, I was by myself for most of the past year, I hooked with people for maybe a month and dated someone for two months. After that I just tried being on my own and living my life and being happy with myself. Which I am, but I still miss him.
Also no, it wasn't the first relationship. It was the first man I felt like I actually wanted to spend years of my life with, but not the first boyfriend or love.


Most Helpful Guy

  • I always tell women, that having hookups and casual sex DOES NOT help with getting over anything. If anything it could amplify or make things worse. For ME, I personally do what I've always done. Even if I truly loved the woman, I can move on fairly quickly, my personality and philosophy is built on that. I train jiujitsu, weight lift, watch shows and movies, play video games, talk to friends and family, and focus on my career. All of that helps me deal with anything. It's good to have multiple outlets of happiness or activities. It also helps that I'm a man, and men aren't as emotionally invested as women are. I highly suggest finding your outlets of happiness and sticking to them. Maybe hold off from relationships and men for now. It doesn't seem like finding a new guy is benefiting you at the moment anyways.


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What Guys Said 2

  • I like to day dream. Filled my head with fun, interesting and sometimes fantasy and eventually forgot. Also gained an interest in writing.

  • Probably was your first, just takes time and finding someone you’re compatible with


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