PLEASE HELP! My girlfriend of 2 years broke up with me because she is depressed, will she come back? Or is it something more?

My girlfriend broke up with me about 6 weeks ago because she said she was depressed and she wanted to "work on herself". It took her a while to even take it off of Facebook because she said she was confused about her feelings. She said she wants to be alone, but I keep reading thats not good for people who are depressed. Since the break up I've seen her a couple times (talked to her in person), but for the past 4 weeks there's been NO contact whatsoever. I let her know countless times I'm there for her if she needs anything and have even sent her a couple messages reminding her that, but like I said our contact has died down to nothing at all within the past 4 weeks. We are still FB friends and I see her online, so I know she's getting my messages. She is still all I think about and I wish I told her I loved her more when we were together, but at the same time a part of me wants to respect what she wants and leave her alone. Problem is, I saw a future with her. Will she ever come back? What do I do? I keep hearing to "focus on myself" but literally everyday she's all I can think about. Did I do something wrong and she's using depression as an out? I even see she likes posts/memes on Facebook saying things like how "fun it is being single", and "where is my prince charming when you need him?", which confuses the hell outta me and it hurts, a lot. I don't know if I'm being too paranoid or even if I'm depressed myself, but this whole thing is eating me alive.


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  • I am really sad you are in such situation... If she really is depressed she needs help and realizing that is the first step. I know what it is like and you always think you need a little break from everything but the truth is it never ends if you don't do anything about it and a thing called a break is the time when you are wasting your time and feeling useless, which makes you even more depressed... my quite strong psyche is helping a lot but would mean nothing if there was no person who really cares about me, because loneliness is the factor why we are usually depressed as humans... There also is a possibility she is cheating on you as you have mentioned, which would be simply disgusting but if you want to find out, texting is not the best way... Meeting face to face is a moment of truth. She may avoid meeting, so surprise her if you know when she's home or somewhere else you can meet her. Tell hell all your worries, be completely honest and OBSERVE her reaction. That's the key. You can feel if someone's lying and while meeting someone face to face there is no way out.

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    • I don't feel like she would cheat, but I guess you never know until it's too late and that's when it hits you and hurts you even more. This comment really helped though, hopefully I'll see her again face to face. If it was the case that she was cheating on me, why does she still keep me as facebook friends? Right after we broke up she said if I wanted to wait for her I could. It just hurts that she hasn't responded to any of my texts, yet I've seen pics she's shared of herself on social media with her phone so it's like I know she's gotten them. I don't know

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    • She still shares stuff on Facebook and goes out to drinks with friends, but like I said has not contacted me for 4 weeks. She even told me she still wants me as a friend and doesn't want to avoid me, yet it feels like she's doing the opposite. I know depression has many faces and I don't want to jump to conclusions but I keep telling myself time will solve it. I know she's an ex and doesn't owe me an explanation, but why did she say she wanted me as a friend then? The stuff she likes that has come up on my news feed are memes that say stuff like "relationships are unimportant" and stuff like that.

    • Sometimes a person from outside can be more objective, while we're blinded by our feelings... And from my point of view she is cheating. Even if she is an ex her behaviour towards you is absolutely dishonest and incomprehensible from psychological point of view. She doesn't want to be too harsh while she doesn't realize she hurts you even more by telling you to stay friends instead of being honest and saying the truth. if she really cared about you she would not behave like that. I know it is hard to accept, because you still have feelings for her and that's why you need to talk to her HONESTLY. And believe me, she owes you an explanation and a huge apology!

  • Her depression is her problem, it's not your fault or responsibility to fix it or take the blame. Give her space but move on with your life, your life isn't on hold until she gets better and even if she does, what if she moved on from you? Don't obsess about her and don't be afraid if your future does not involve her, your future does not lie with her. Even if she liking memes, so what, it is a bit sketchy so maybe cut ties with her for being ironic? But I'm also ironic myself so I can relate, I have a hopeless romantic side but I'm mostly against marriage because I think it's difficult as climbing mt Everest lol. You are pretty paranoid, relax and move on or else you feeding into the craziness.

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