Is it unfair if I want to break up with a guy because I don't like his lifestyle?

He is a truck mechanic and all his mechanic buddies and coworkers are very sleazy characters, immoral and very unpleasant to be around.

He told his friends he was dating me and they asked him to show nude pics of me to see if I'm worth it. Although he isn't like his friends, I fear we will have many problems down the road.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I generally don't like the "it's your friends or me" kind of ultimatums, but sometimes they're legitimate, and this sounds like one of those times.

    Tell him you could see it working out with him, but... you can not, and will not, tolerate his friends, so either they have to go, or they have to figure out how to be minimally respectful, or you're gonna go.

    I don't see the situation improving, so leaving might be best, but if you could see a relationship with him, because you like who he is, there should be an offering made to fix things, instead of just up and leaving.

    Just make sure he doesn't have nudes of you. If you break up and he takes it hard?
    Look, I'd like to think he's decent and wouldn't ever do it, because that's how I am, but there is a non-zero chance that if he takes it hard, he might show them your pics.
    A lot of guys would never do that. Some guys would.

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What Guys Said 20

  • I think it is a bit unfair. If you already know that he's not like that then why would you have problems down the road? You're not dating his sleazy friends, you're dating him, and tbh I find it highly unlikely that the inappropriate comments were any more than a joke to tease him.

    It's not his lifestyle you dislike but his friends, but at the same time I can understand why you could see problems if you can't even be around his friends.

    It's unfair to him though because he has no control over what his friends do or say, and you certainly can't judge him based on what coworkers he happens to have gotten stuck with. I think you should stay

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  • That's how us mechanics/body men are were sleazy to people out side of the trade but we're really nice people who would do anything for each other if we gain that bond. We cus like sailors and talk about some crazy stuff at work but it's all in good fun. We're not bad guys once you get through our exterior. And the nude pics thing could be a joke, I know we used to do it when we were in highschool when our buddies had girlfriends

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  • Yeah it was you dumped him because of his job. One thing you can say about his job was that it was honest, not like he was a banker or solicitor.

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  • If he loves you as much as you claim, he will resist, but I know men are like, he will find it hard not to show a topless picture of you. That is why in most mechanic gararages have either nude or topless calenders or posters.
    You must be very hot. Give them naked pictures of you as a baby or a naked baby and say it is you. That will end their intetest in you that way.

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  • That is a good reason to break up with someone. And honestly you may not be seeing that those people are his friends for a reason.

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  • I think you should talk to him. We don’t choose who we will be working with, the fact that his colleagues are a bunch of jerks don’t mean that he’s too.

    So try to figure out his intentions and values, and if they’re not what you’re looking for in a guy, then you break up with him.

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  • Tough call. They say the 5 closest people to you have the most influence on you. He may be ok during the honeymoon period. But expect that to change over time.

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  • Talk to him

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  • Not at all

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  • You are dating him not his mates. Yeah, it's unfair.

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  • According to all known laws of aviation the bees wings should not be able to support its fat body in flight

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  • If he really likes you he will leave his friends if you ask him

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  • Nope not unfair. You have the right to feel comfortable or secure in a relationship, and if you feel incompatible, don't let anyone make you feel guilty or let you suffer to feel like a "better person" or something.

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  • It is a perfect reason.

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  • No. It's not unfair at all.

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  • Fair enough

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  • Terrible reason to break up. What matters is his behaviors, not his friends.

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  • That is literally one of the biggest reasons to break up with somebody.

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  • Yes it is... talk to him... tell about ur issues related to his lifestyle...

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  • this is dumb, you are dating him, his friends no matter how nasty they are aren't him, you even said it himself so what exactly is the problem with HIM? you are not dating his friends. You should just tell him that you hate his friends.

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What Girls Said 6

  • It's not unfair I don't think. I think that you breaking up with a guy because the people he hangs around with make you uncomfortable is a bit more justified than me breaking up with a guy because he didn't like reading

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  • It's understandable. I woudln't want to date someone with that lifestyle. His friends could influence him unless he has a strong personality.

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  • So it’s not really your boyfriends lifestyle but rather how his co-workers behave in reference to you? I’d say, definitely don’t date the co-workers.

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  • No. You are the company you keep. How do you know his friends are jerks? How do you know when you're not around he doesn't participate? birds of a feather flock together so if you aren't comforatble w him then leave

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  • The problem isn't only that his friends asked but that he is dense enough to share this with you! Obviously not too bright

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  • Why would you break up with him if he is not like his coworkers?

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    • Because he will get influenced by them

    • I understand. Well, I would let him work there if he likes it but if he is different I do not understand why would he hang out with those people

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