How to handle feeling sentimental about past relationship?

I'm happy in my current relationship and in many ways it is better than the one I had with my ex. However I feel that my ex was the first true love of my life and sometimes I feel depressed that my old relationship is gone and feel sentimental over it. How do I handle this?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Earlier this year I became deeply sentimental about a girl I had a relationship with that ended 16 years ago. I dated her from 1997 to 2001. She was one of my first ever loves, and for some reason, out of the blue, I suddenly felt an extremely strong, overpowering urge to talk to her and be near her once again. I hadn't talked to her since 2001, and I didn't even know if she was alive or dead. But I finally tracked her down and found her on facebook, and started talking to her there. Talking to her made me remember why I broke up with her in the first place - she's a total cunt, and has a crude, mean spirited personality and sense of humor. I could see glimpses of the girl I fell in love with, as she can be simultaneously sweet, feminine, and crude/mean spirited all at the same time, but I realized from talking to her this year that i dodged a bullet by not talking to her for so long.

    Odds are, your ex is your ex for a good reason. You need to remember that. Nostalgia can make us look at the past through rose colored glasses, and make us remember only the good parts while glossing over the bad parts in our minds. I don't really recommend getting back in touch with your ex, as that could make your longing for him even stronger, but at the same time it also might make you realize why your relationship ended in the first place, and why it's a good thing that it ended.


Most Helpful Girl

  • Did you date the ex for longer than the new boyfriend? I'm guessing the longer you stick with him, the more those old memories will be replaced by those with your new man. I think logically you know this new person is great for you but you still have some feelings for the ex, maybe unresolved issues or a simple romantic longing for your first love to work out?

    • Yes I dated my ex for almost 5 years and I'm with the new boyfriend for one year. My new boyfriend is great and I don't think I would get back with my ex but I feel sad it didn't last... and you're probably right. Thanks.😎

    • I'm guessing time will take care of it in that case. I imagine it's very difficult after 5 years of memories

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 2

  • I understand this 100%. In my opinion you'll always have a Piece in your heart for your first love. 3 years ago I broke up with my first love and I'd still do anything for her and I know she'd do the same. There will always something for that person. But if it's distracting you from your new relationship then maybe you still adore them?

  • Well wouldn't ya know everyone goes through a faze like this when the relationship is over includeing me. For me i just rode it out with my feelings untill eventually they subsided and i could start something new. You gotta get comfortable with being single first and there are perks I assure you. People will always lend an ear so dont be afraid to talk to anyone else like your friends for support, heck even me i give way to much of my time on it but it makes everyone happy ^-^


What Girls Said 2

  • I don't think u ever get over it first love.. You learn to live with it though. If you were to bump into ur ex tomorrow you wouldn't recognise that the guy you used to love is totally different now. I think we paint an alternative history of them from what they truly were. We ignore their flaws and settle for a shared loveliness we used to have with the ex. When in fact they were full of flaws hence why we broke up with them we just choose to forget and ignore they weren't that great.

    it's so sad.. but you broke for a reason remember that.. and let it stay broken because if it didn't work once chances are it won't work again

  • Cherish the past and what you learned from it but Build new and strong memories with your current guy/girl.


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