If you break up with your partner and you still love them, why don't you do anything to win him/her back?

I don't get it, If I love someone I will prove it to him and I'll try no matter what.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Because I don't break up someone for no reason. Or a stupid reason.

    Some people, you sound like one of them, think you can throw a hand grenade into a relationship, blow everything up, and then just say "Well, rebuild it" or "Undo!" or "Make that not have happened."

    Well that's not how the world works. If you break up, you've broken up with someone. If you dump someone, you can never do so in the expectation that they will come crawling back to you to get back together again.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Wait, so do you mean that your partner is the one dumping you? Or the other way around? Because if you mean the other way around it doesn't make any sense. I would never break up with someone I still loved.
    If you mean that I'm the one getting dumped, then it's quite obvious isn't it? I can't force someone to like me. If he doesn't like me anymore there's pretty much nothing I can do about that. I'm not going to start begging him to take me back or try to change myself just to try to make him interested in me again. If he doesn't like me for me, then that's that. I don't want to try to change his decision. I can't force him to do anything.
    I also have my pride. Begging and pleading an ex to take you back is simply pathetic. Or trying to change for them. It's just not genuine, and it's not someone with a healthy mind should do. Moving on is hard, and realizing that your partner doesn't love you anymore is a hard pill to swallow. But it's a fact of life. The healing process will be much easier if you have nothing to be ashamed of and if you try your hardest to just go with the flow.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 33

  • I broke up with a woman who I dated for 2 years. I still love her. I am not doing anything to win her back.

    We broke up because she did not value me as a partner in the way that I valued her. After two years, she did not love me. She wanted me to be her standby boyfriend, available when she wanted me and out of sight when she had other things to do. Outside of that enormous and insurmountable problem, we were very good for each other.

    If I won her back, she still wouldn't love me. Before long, she again would be treating me like a standby boyfriend. I think I deserve someone who treats me better than that, so I will not try to win her back. Since the break up, I have seen her a few times on a platonic basis, but I have started dating other women. If she decides that she wants to treat me better, if she realizes that she loves me, she knows how to contact me. . . but I don't think that will ever happen, so I am moving forward, because the other option is moving backwards.

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  • Maybe I'm not a selfish bitch and dont wanna hurt them again? Like, if I broke their heart once, I obvious either a) had a good reason too or b) I'm just kind of broken like that and I just hurt people that are close to me... either way, getting back with this person would be for me and not for them.
    It would only hurt them in the long run because I either have a problem with them I never successfully dealt with (thus the break up) or I have a very serious problem with me thus the breaking up with them and ripping their fucking heart out of their chest for no good reason.

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  • Never been in a relationship, so I can't relate. All I know is that if you have somebody then you'll have somebody to lose. Perhaps they really don't care enough to try at all anymore so they don't bother to do anything about it anymore. And besides, you can't make them do what you expect them to do or want them to do. Nobody else can either.

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  • Because even though you love someone, they still might be the right one for you. Incompatibility is real. You can love multiple people in your life and wish them happiness, but when it comes to romance and having a life partner, it is important to find a person who is compatible with you.

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  • Why would you break up with someone, just to try to win them back? I've never heard this line of reasoning. I've heard of trying to get back together with someone who broke up with you, in the hopes of rekindling the previous dynamics, but it is sign of desperation and a demonstration in futility. The damage is already done.

    Relationships aren't a word document: you can't just delete everything and start fresh like nothing happened. I mean, if relationships were that easy and inconsequential, no one would ever have one--there's no payoff. Sure it hurts, but nothing ventured, nothing gained. It took me a long 2 years after my last relationship to come to that conclusion.

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  • If I break up it's for a damn good reason. Breaking up is me throwing in the towel and writing off the relationship forever.

    Getting back together with someone I already rejected is pretty cruel, since we're all the more likely to split again. I don't want to hurt someone like that.

    I'd hate being rejected by the same person TWICE.

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  • Depends on the reasons for the breakup. If the circumstances that lead to the breakup were legitimately serious enough to breakup and those circumstances haven't changed. Then it doesn't much matter if you still love them, because nothing has changed other than hurt feelings.

    It's very unromantic. But love does not conquer all.

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  • There is a massive "Depends" here - It could be as in your case just a need to establish what you both want BUT if it is one sided love or abusive love, it is a different matter - Let's give a dramatic example, a restaurant serves the most amazing food for very cheap prices but the catch is there is a constant hurricane blowing, does it make sense to walk to the restaurant for your 3 meals a day.

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  • Because that's selfish and immature. If you really loved them that much, you wouldn't have broken up with them. Obviously you saw something in them that you didn't like and just couldn't try to fix or reconcile or you yourself have problems (usually it's always the latter). Either way, you don't go back and forth with someone like that. You waste your time and their time and it's extremely hurtful. That's how people become jaded and emotionally damaged

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  • I do. I try and wine and dine them. Send them more flowers than usual

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  • If I break up with someone, then it's because we can't be together, plain and simple.

    If they break up with me, that's what they wanted. I'm not gonna try to make them rethink that, they want nothing to do with me, just to forget about me

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  • Two people can love each other but realize they're toxic. So the best thing to do is to let each other go. Best case scenario is you can be friends

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  • If you still love him, for sure it's from his initiative to break up.
    The fact is you can still try to win him back, but at the first periods, he'd get easily mad

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  • If you love someone you don't break up with them, and you can't just expect a person to get back with someone who doesn't love them.

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  • Depending on how we broke up, yes I would go back with her or at least try to win her back.
    But still depending on why we broke up.

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  • Because maybe I don't want to love them anymore. There's a reason I broke up, so even if I still love her, I wouldn't want to go back with her.

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  • What if you love them but they don't love you as much as you do?

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  • I don't know

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  • When it's over, it's really over! There's no going back. The damage has already been done, so it's best to just move on...

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  • well if you still love them you should not have broke up with them in the first place. That makes no damn sense.

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  • Because i realized i was wrong when it became too late

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    • @JenDB Answer your dms plzz :) ;)

    • Stop fuckin replying to my answers n giving me those annoying notifications
      Get a life moron

  • You're sweet♥️

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  • because its a 2 way street

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  • Because you don't love them in the first place? you only say that to ease their pain

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  • Some of them don't know what to do

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  • Love isn't always 2 sided sadly

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  • There are some situations when it's not possible like betrayal or cheating by your partner.

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  • Pride is the worst enemy

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  • I m try again again to back her in my life. I can do anything for here

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  • Deal with it and move on life is too short to deal with negative people

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  • More from Guys
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What Girls Said 23

  • I say that people seriously need's to remove the word 'love' out of the equation. It doesn't matter what you had with that person. Some people you get with and sometimes marry are not good for you. Period. Nobody should be trying to win anybody back for various reasons:

    1. You will get hurt when you see they want nothing to do with you.
    2. They will get hurt when all they see is somebody begging them, but there is no change in that person whatsoever. Only desperation.
    3. Desperation is NOT attractive.
    4. Have respect.
    5. It's only immaturity when it comes down to always wanting to 'fight' for somebody who already said they don't want to be there. And it makes you look even fake when you dump a person and now you regret it. It shows your not as serious. And major red flags about who you really are and how you act. They begin to see a side of you that will make them question your character and integrity.

    What you need to remember is this. It doesn't matter how much you say you love a person. Love is not enough to keep a person with you. Especially if they no longer desire to have a part of it. It is something that everybody must accept. And why you don't be involved with just anybody. It is a learning lesson you must learn the hard way.

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  • If I have broken up with someone then that means something has happened that was a deal breaker or something in the relationship was negatively affecting me that can't be fixed. As great as love is, sometimes it's not enough to make a relationship work.

    Sometimes there are factors at play beyond your control. That may be because they cheated, or they have a destructive habit that is affecting you, or they want different things out of life than you do, etc. So even though you may love that person, not all issues can be solved from that. That's just reality, unfortunately.

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  • Right person, wrong time
    people want to explore options simple by time they realise what they let go it's too late..
    the person doing the dumping finds that out years later when the grass they thought was greener beyond turned out to be spoiled land
    The dumped usually have moved on

    it happens more common than not

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  • The problem that most people don't realize is that love isn't the only factor in a relationship. There's needs to be respect, communication, and trust. You can love a person and it still isn't enough. When you truly love someone though, you want them happy, which sometimes means that it isn't you. It sucks but it feels better to let someone you love figure things out themselves.

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  • If I broke up with the person who I love, that must have been with good reason (ie. cheating, incompatibilities regrading the the present or future, etc..)
    Unfortunately, it doesn't matter how much I love them at that point- love doesn't override practicality.

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  • Meh, sometimes relationships just can't work regardless of whether you love each other or not. Love isn't always enough. Besides, what's the point in having to convince someone to be with you? If you have to convince them, then you've already failed.

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  • Sometimes no matter how much you love a person, you have to let them go. It ends up being better that way for whatever the reason may be. Whether it's because you love them but they don't love you as much or you're both not good for each other. Stuff like this is hard to do, but it's usually for the better when you try the first time and leave it alone after. There was a reason why it didn't work out the first time.

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  • You can love someone but understand that you don't work as a couple. Maybe there are some fundamental differences in values or confrontational style, etc.. something that makes you incompatible, but you still care about them as a person.

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  • why we wanna try to live with someone that never try to get us in his part of life? how he can happy with us who he not feeling love. let he goes, the right one will try to get u even more hardly factors, he won't give up on it.

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  • Because they don't love you, even if you love them. Because they don't see you as worthy or enough for them. Because they used you and messed you around and because you realised that you deserved better than that.

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  • There's a lot more than romantic feelings needed to keep a relationship working smoothly. Love does not always equal compatibility and sometimes a relationship jusr isn't healthy for us or them. For instance I broke up with someone because they were an alcoholic and refused to get help. That was about 6 years ago. I ran into him last year and I could tell nothing had changed.

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  • Because there is a reason you broke up in the first place. It isn't like the movies where a couple breaks up over some stupid plotline only to get back together in the end. You break up over a series of things. Like cheating. Chances are, they break up because both are unhappy, one betrayed the other, the one cheated on cannot bring back up that trust again.

    Sometimes breakups just boil over the days until it eventually happens.

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  • if you left me, there is no reason for us to be back together again.

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  • Sometimes if a guy knows a girl will come back he won't bother to try and win her back because he knows she will come back anyway

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  • Cuz they never loved enough to even fight for it

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  • If hey realize that they want the same things out of life or that it’s not going to work out then there’s no reason to force it.

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  • Sometimes you emotionally are done with the relationship and just want to move on with your life.

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  • Because there is a reason behind a breakup. So even if u love them the reason remains

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  • They like someone else, and why do anything for their selfish douchebag ass? They don't deserve it. I'm done lol

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  • I do not have the will. I have given way more than I should have/I have nothing left to give. That's when I break up. It doesn't matter if I still love them or not.

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  • because of pride

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  • Life goes on and you break up for a reason

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  • Cause that person you love may be only toxic and trying to take advantage of you. Love can make blind in some cases.

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