My boyfriend broke up with me but still wants to be friends?

Last night my boyfriend and I broke up, he said that I couldn’t provide the support he needed to get through his parents divorce and that he needed to do it alone. When I asked him what kind of support he needed he didn’t answer. His best friend said that I should just fall back and let him miss me but I hate him so much I’m not sure I even want him back.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I can't speak for your ex, but I personally had no interest in simply keeping my ex around for convenience or as a friends with benefits.

    I broke up with my ex earlier this year, due to conflicts of perspective and a lack of respect. The relationship had soured, however, we came into the relationship as best friends. I've traveled the world with her, treated her family like my own, and this is the only ex that my mom was truly fond of. We had gone though so much together, and there was a chemistry that was too amazing to throw away, so i advocating for remaining friends.

    From Feb-May, it was an awkward transition period, and there were points were each of us felt foolish af. We had a long convo about setting boundaries and expectations. Since i didn't want any confusion, the top items were no sex or intimacy! NOTHING confuses a relationship more than adding in sex and intimacy. We also agreed to giving each other space.

    After the beak in period, we were finally able to grow with each other, in ways that the relationship prevented us from doing. Things aren't perfect, but we still travel together, we support each other emotionally and spiritually, and we keep each other in check.

    I'm not sure about your ex's maturity, so I'm only sharing my story as an example that a friendship can be salvaged. If your ex comes off as someone who doesn't stick to his convictions, then I wouldn't recommend entertaining his bs.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I've experienced something similar. my ex boyfriend broke up with me because his parents were constantly arguing. they weren't divorcing but they were just constantly arguing. he said he'd still like to be friends but he thought i couldn't help him the way he wanted me to (kinda the same situation you're in). when my one friend who was a really good friend of my ex boyfriend heard about it, she told me to just pretend as if i never dated him so i wouldn't be so ticked off, wouldn't be dwelling on it, and wouldn't constantly think about it. i kinda did work, but not 100% because it was a break up of a relationship that was 3 years long

    also, i'd tell you that you should do what his friend is saying. stay back and let him miss you. if he wants to be with you, he'll make an effort to come back to you. if he doesn't want to be with you, he won't make an effort of a good one to be with you

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    • Thank you this helped the best. I don’t want to keep too much contact. My 21st bday is coming up in9 days and he was supposed to be there. But I won’t invite him.

    • np :)

      and yah, keeping too much contact can come off almost desperate and needy. i wouldn't recommend talking to him for awhile or else he'll just get annoyed by it

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 12

  • I think he is dumbs it's the worse excuse ever.

    Because of the divorce of my parents.

    Wtf it's an adult and even when my parents divorced it wasn't so bad for me it was bad for them.

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  • He's just trying to keep you on the hook. He broke up with you, he obviously doesn't see a future, but wants to be able to use you for companionship/sex or support, if he has trouble finding someone new. Don't fall for this!

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  • He just using that as an excuse to go, u asked for a reason and he didn't give u 1, cuz he don't have 1 to give. He wants his freedom, but he's not having any luck sexually so that's y he still wants to be friends. Once he does find some 1 else to sleep with... Then he will stop calling u.

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  • Sorry to hear, it's tough going through a break up you didn't initiate. He has been looking for a reason and he found one is all. Time to move on and hope you feel better soon.

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  • If you hate him that much, why go back to be his friend? There is love between friendship, clearly u dnt want anything to do with him. No point to be friends anymore. Go separate ways.

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  • I think you should move on... If he wants to stay friends... The friendship will come natural after a couple of months separated from each other

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  • He wanted to leave you. Cooking up shit excuse is a part of the hobby. Anyway many people get out of their parent's without needing to have a girlfriend to sleep with. He's fine and so should you be

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  • Take the best friend's advice. x

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  • Never works.

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  • in my opinion just move on as fast as you can. His best friend seems like a reasonable person

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  • Yes you want to be friends

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  • Just refuse and let him go in entirety.

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What Girls Said 9

  • TRUE i don't know if id want him back either, I really hate excuses like that, like i understand parents divorces are really hectic however thats when you need someone the most.. I always get suspicious when people try to break up with others and use the excuse of "you deserve better or i can't give you what you need" blah blah blah

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  • Yeah... you don't dump people because "they can't provide support" when you don't even know what that support should be. Just go on do your thing ignore him.

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  • If someone broke up with me I wouldn’t want them back and he want to be friend just Incase you be the back up girl.

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  • That's really cruel of him to make you feel like your support isn't enough. I've gone through the same thing, you don't want someone in your life who can't handle their problems maturely. You will find someone better, may hurt now, but trust me it won't hurt as much in time.

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    • Omg, exactly. Ur answer is bringing back so many memories... Any 1 who says ur not this to them or ur not that... Get rid of em. That kinda wording/finger pointing is so efen hurtful... Trust me. He's a douche. Don't even take him back if he asks... (Kk347 that was an awesome answer)

    • Currently in the process of leaving a relationship right now because of this. Everyone who has good intentions deserves to be appreciated not beaten down for trying. Thank you!

    • Dang that sucks to here. I'm sorry ur going through that... I myself am faced with a similar situation. My girl... I've known her a very long time... (and a very long story) ... She's always disrespecting me. And she does things in front of me that just get me going 0-100 real quick... Lol. But u know, for some reason... I'm still here. I don't get it. I don't understand y I let her get away with everything when normally any amount of anything I usually end it. I know I'm a loyal and forgiving person... So when we do depart my conscious will be clean.

  • Unless, the breakup ended on good terms, I believe people should take a breather from their exes. You need to separate and think about yourself for a little while. Rediscover.

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  • Tell him to go fuck himself

    He will only try to stay around to use you for sex

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  • This is the lamest excuse I have ever heard. He just wants to leave the relationship. And wants to keep you in the loop ( read safety net ) by being friends with you.

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  • don't stay friends

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    • Why? I don’t really want him as a boyfriend anymore but I don’t want to loose friendship

  • My thing is, if you can’t provide this support as a girlfriend, what more could you do differently as a friend? If your effort with the matter has no value then it just doesn’t and he shouldn’t waste your time. Tbh, I think this has been brewing and he was looking for an excuse to end things. Which is lame as all hell.

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    • Exactly , I hate him so much. How can he just expect to be his friend after he broke my heart? Is he an idiot?

    • Show All
    • The worst part about it , is I am his first love. He lost his virginity to me. He told me that he loved me first, he chased from the beginning. We had a bond, we’re weren’t just boyfriend and girlfriend we were best friends. Now it’s just gone

    • I’m so sorry. I had that happen in high school, and it really sucked. We were each others first everything, then we graduated and it seemed like over the course of two years, we just drifted apart and there was nothing I could do to stop it. All I can really say is that it’ll be painful right now, even for a while, but the healing will come. You’ll grow, and you’ll get through this.

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