Should I be honest with my ex, now he has moved country?

We broke up back in February because he told me over the phone while he was in Italy that he was moving there for good in the next academic year. I was devastated, knowing he told me this over a phone just added to my devastation. I never felt so lonely and betrayed in my whole life. He ends up coming back and I give him a hard time through text, saying to leave me alone etc... I was hurt. He ended up telling me he was done with my drama.

He only lived a 20 minute walk away, just knowing that gave me some weird sense of comfort, knowing the person I loved was not physically not so far away. I never decided to go see him because he got a girlfriend soon after me, when I did contact him a few months later, he told me to respect that and leave him alone. He also said mean things such as I look desperate etc by contacting him... maybe I did, but I missed him terribly. There was always this part of me that hoped he would realize he loved me and would try to see me again. I would be out and see the same brand car as his and color, look closely at the reg to see if it was him, I just craved to see him so much. It never was his car. Many people have the same car he did, everytime I see it, I think of him, which can get frustrating. It is like a torturous reminder of the person I loved who doesn't care about me. He told me he was thankful it ended, that are we free etc... acting like it was this great thing.

Anyway because he so far away, and I feel I will never see him again or bump into him, should I be honest with him? To tell him. All these months I have missed you terribly, I love you very much. But I know we can't be together so I learnt to accept it for what it is. The pain I have endured has been excruciating. I hope you learn to remember the simple beautiful moments we had, not on any negative ones.

I don't think he deserves it though, and it could get flung back in my face, and be called names or maybe be ignored, who knows. Is it worth it?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • It's not worth it. He's moved on already, you should too.

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    • How can I move on from someone I love?

    • Every time I try to be with someone else it feels fake, and trying to be happy feels fake. I am miserable cause I can't be with him.

    • You're miserable because you've indulged in your sadness. This horrible feeling you have is all that ties you to him now, which is why you cling to it. Learn to let go. Learn to love yourself again. Then you'll learn to fall in love with a better guy. You're naturally going to think what I said is BS. Don't forget that your addicted to sadness right now. It affects how you perceive the world. Get some therapy if you need to. Don't freeze your life here. There's more to discover and explore.

Most Helpful Girl

  • Well was he moving to Italy for academic reasons? If so, I wouldn't have given him a hard time when he came back, he wasn't really at fault so I don't blame him for giving up on you.

    He's in a relationship now, there's no need to tell him how much you love him and start drama. Best to just move on, its not worth it

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    • No he said it is because he prefers it there, and will be staying there for good. He could have studied here. He was choosing the fact he would prefer to live there, over the relationship we had. He told me it was up to me if I wanted to go with him, that I need to learn Italian and get a job, I am in the middle of studying. I supported him throughout 4 years of his study, instead of supporting me he decided to move country. So how can you tell me you don't blame him. He made a complete mockery of what we had, I would never in a million years tell someone a life changing decision over a phone. If he had any empathy he would understand how hurtful that is.

    • Ahh okay, I said I wouldn't blame him IF he was moving to Italy for academic reasons only. But since that wasn't the case, then I agree, it was selfish and inconsiderate on his part. But still, he has moved on and is in a relationship, there's no point in telling him you love him.

      He didn't have any consideration for you or your studies when he decided to move to Italy. It doesn't seem like he's worth the fight

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • You should forget him like a bad dream

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    • put 6 years of my life down to being a bad dream? I hate the fact that I love him. It is making me miserable.

    • Show All
    • that is true, I feel I am living in a fog. I don't know how to come out of this.

    • It needs will power. If you can't do this alone make some new friends , learn some skills like singing, playing some musical instruments or go for camping. If you can do go for a trip in another country these things will help most.

What Girls Said 1

  • Honesty is the best policy. If this pains you to keep inside, let it out and tell him. Letting go of your feelings and the people connected to it will help you. After that, learn to love yourself and better yourself

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