I Just need to understand?

So went through a break-up September 2nd (it was about 1 1/2 years dating about 2 1/2 on off dating total)... I'm the dumpee. She started dating someone about 10 days later. I have been just doing my thing, A lot of working out, I'm looking great by the way... Some self help books, just improving and doing me... A lot of walking, helping in the community (we have a bit of a homeless problem, so I help out with food and clothes, buy the guys coffee, and talk to them). The area near the lake where I live is where I like to take my walks, get tea or coffee at the little coffee shop there, maybe stop for a beer at one of the taverns, meet a buddy if they want to have a pint. Well for 4 weeks I never saw the ex. Suddenly the last 10 days they (her/and her new guy) have shown up where I am about the last 6 days of the last 10 days.

A Series of slow rolls by me or even stopping at the coffee shop I hang out at, or a taverns in the area (we are a town of 100,000) there are over 100 bars in our community. To my credit I just get in my car and leave the area. So it is an obvious attempt to cause some sort of discord in my life. I was watching TV at my house 2 nights ago and low and behold his truck goes by my house (I had the front window open and saw it, it is an unmistakable piece of crap with semi lights and hand spray painted, I live on a side street too no where near where she lives). It is actually making me a bit nervous.

WHY? She texted me 2-3 day after the break up. Then a week after that (how are you doing?) I apologized for my part told her to take care. She texts me about 1-2 times over 2 weeks, I don't have much to say... She called on Monday this week, I talked, being myself. I have never asked her to come back, never begged, nothing. WHY is this happening. I do love her, and if she acted appropriately I would go back with her. I have never confronted them I just smile and wave when they slow roll by me. WTF?


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  • I can't belive that you are Not angry or sad or anythin. You mention not a single Emotion. Better block her contacts and look for someone else. As i went trough some kind of the Same shit... It won't be feeling as good as it was again. And you will chase that feeling of the Start never gettin it.

    • Of course I'm angry, and sad, I loved her very much. However I'm more confused than anything else? Is it him is it her, is it being rubbed in my face? I'm just doing me, of course the break up hurt, but I'm 44 been in enough relationships to know how to mend after. Dwelling is not one of them. You take care of your heart, you heal, you do good things for yourself. You don't rebound and hurt another person becasue you are not emotionally available. I don't understand this "stalkerish" behavior. She said we can never be together, so why do this? Go on your merry way. If you want to be with with me just tell me.. don't continue trying to hurt me... or is that it? She doesn't want me to be over her, I don't know hence the question

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    • So what you really want is some reason for that whole muss?

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