Guys, How long does it take a guy to get over a broken heart?

my best friend of 8 years and boyfriend of 4 years and i parted ways last year it was something neither of us wanted but circumstances made it impossible to be together. We just seemed to have this connection. Our hearts understood each other and we always seemed honest with each other and had great fun together. I just can not seem to get over it or move on no matter how hard i try. I stay very busy but my mind always is triggered by something and i end up thinking about him. I get so angry with myself because I'm sure he's completely over it and has moved on and probably never thinks of me.


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26

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 26

  • First time it took me 3 years. Second time 8. Third time 4. Then I met my wife.

    It basically depends on the guy.

    And for the record, don't ever let "circumstances" stop you being happy. "Circumstances" put the girl I loved in South Africa and left me in England. So I made "circumstances" my b*tch, moved to South Africa and married her. That was 14 years ago. We just moved back to England.

    I'm not saying it's easy, but nothing worth doing is.

    If the two of you really want to be together, unless the "circumstances" are that one of you is already married, do whatever it takes to be together. There will be another job. You can transfer your college transcript. Heck, if a white guy from England and a non-white girl from South Africa can find a way to get past "circumstances" because being together makes us happy, anybody can!

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  • It depends on the woman. Some are pretty easy to get over. I have two from my past that I think of every day and feel the emptiness of them being gone. I have not seen one of them in around 7 years and the other has been much longer.

    I was not married to either one. And I have no idea why this feeling lingers for them. It would be better if it would simply go away.

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  • I've had similar situation, but it's not about me it's about you.
    What is possibly going on is the love you once had is no longer besides you, the routines and the constant communication between you two is gone. That means something empty inside of you, something that you have to routine out of. Your body and mind is still used to thinking of your beloved person. All this can only be healed with time. Time is your enemy and your friend, be patient and you'll prosper in much better reality...
    What he thinks about you no longer matters, because it's stopped, you're not together for a reason and that reason is why you are no longer with each other. I know it can be very hard at times not to think about the person, even when you feel bad, sick or weak is the worst times. Now what matters is you knowing it's just your mind that's fucking with you. Your brain is still used to a person that can give you all that closure you were used to... You need to do whatever you want to do, talk about it, make your body tired so you can sleep good at night and find something that can distract you to get by with time.

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  • That truly depends on his level of feelings when his heart is broken. If the relationship was rough he may have begun Grieving during the relationship. If not it'll more than likely be a while.

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    • 7d

      the relationship was incredible, respectful, no rough patches, lots of fun. We had differences of opinions but never fought about it we would discuss it.
      We didn't want the relationship to end but circumstances forced us to be apart. I think that's what makes this so hard. We had so many dreams and goals together.

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    • 7d

      Why hasn't he reached out to me? I was taught that the guys need to reach out.

    • 7d

      We are stuborn. There is a reason men and women need eachother.

  • We never do. Guys do not get over heartbreak easily. We don't hold grudges but every guy in the world can tell you a story about "that girl".

    That doesn't mean you don't have a chance.. It just means that he will be wary of falling into the same trap again.

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  • Men kind of just move on I don't think a guy will fully get over it, especially if he really loved the girl.

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    • 7d

      how do they just move on? How do they compartmentalize things? I want to learn how to do it?

    • 7d

      Well I wouldn't say I'm over a broken heart but I knew i had to just move on because the relationship wasn't good for me. Sometimes relationships take work but if you are constantly having the same problems for 4 years it can't be fixed that's who the person is. I told myself that over and over that made me just move on and not look back.

  • Each person is different and some may be better at hiding any heartbreak so impossible to tell really - I would advise just get over it at your own pace and take your time to process, try not to worry about what is norm or what others are doing.

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  • Almost 26 years and counting...

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  • I would be shocked if he is over you. There’s nothing worse than missing out on a love that could have been. If you two are truly soul mates, then he might never get over you.

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  • About a year and counting for me

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  • Infinity, before that you choose mgtow.

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  • A strong relationship breakup may take years for getting over the heart break and pain he/she passes through. They will just act normal to avoid people's concern in mean time.

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  • Never. If we actually really truly loved them. Same as you.

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  • Was he your first love?

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    • no but i was so comfortable around him, physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. I was completely myself around him and he always told me the same.

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    • Do you still talk?

    • 7d

      i haven't talked to him in 6 months. It's too painful. He's not made an effort to contact me and i've made no effort to talk to him.

  • Depends on the loss. I've dated one person that took me several years to get over. Others that about a month is all it took...

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  • Go back to him and tell him that. Why would you torture yourself like that are you mentally crazy? Just confront him that's the only way to get a real answer!! And if he says something hurtful at least you'll be able to let him go

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  • Sometimes, you don't. you just learn to live with it.

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  • Never.

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  • Forever

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  • For me, half a minute.

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  • It's individual

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  • There's no set timeframe... its different for everyone

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  • Why should it matter. It's a broken heart, leave him be

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  • As a rule of thumb it’s usually half the time of the relationship

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  • Assuming is a dangerous thing

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  • I don't think guys really "get over" relationships faster than girls. You both dated for 4 years an best friends for a substantial time. I'm sure that he thinks of you all the time, yet he might have already accepted that if he talks to you he knows that the outcome will be the same. Maybe sometimes it's best to leave things that hurt alone right?

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