Guys, my ex called me - advice please!

My boyfriend dumped me 6 months ago - but we have had regular contact, he was contacting me loads in the first month - but then now we are contacting say once a month or so. a few weeks back he rung me, it was a Monday night, it was unexpected. We hadn't spoke to each other on the phone for at least 3 months. I didn't wanna get myself upset by talking to him so I politely text him and said I didn't wanna get myself upset. he replied 'no worries, just calling to see how you were'. Now, if he had text me back and said 'I WANT YOU BACK'! I would of spoken to him. but I thought, if you aren't ringing to ask for me back then I would rather spare my emotions and not speak to you at all. You see? That was the way I was thinking.

Guys, what I wanna know is, would you call an ex girlfriend 'just for a chat'. do you think that he called for a reason but didn't want to say outright what it was? it was just a bit unexpected that's all. Obviously I want him back and I wish I had spoken to him

Update: well, that was three weeks ago now and this lunchtime I summoned up the courage and rung him. conversation went well...we spoke like we used too...now what do I do? Just leave it?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I am in contact with my ex boyfriend, he dumped me, but we still communicate every day. He has rung me and I have talked with him. I do not read anything into what or why he is ringing me other then being friendly and caring.

    I expect that is what your ex was doing, just being friendly and caring. You perhaps are reading too much into it. Sometimes, one can get ahead of oneself and think, hey he wants me back, when in fact the opposite is true.

    You need to slow your thinking down about this, or you could end up with hurt and confused feelings again. You want him back, he doesn't know it. It has been a while for you both. Perhaps why not arrange to meet up, keep it informal, and during the day time, perhaps for lunch. You could ask him and say it would be fun, oh don't say I want to talk to you , as that can scare a guy right off, just say, how about meeting up sometime, it would be nice and it would be fun too. But make sure you don't get carried away with meeting him and end up as a friend with benefits, you don't want that.

    Just see what he says, with that suggestion and take it from there, if he says no, then the time is not right, just accept it and say then maybe another time. But let him decide.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • Hey - from a guys point of view - there is a reason why he's reaching out to you. Does he miss you? I'm sure he does...I mean, it could be a lot of things...Hes curious to see what your up to, seeing if your still "there", misses you, etc...

    What you need to do is play your cards right. You have to answer this question...Can you handle talking to him? Can you talk to him on the phone, be able to hang up and go about your life. If you answered no, then you are not ready for communication. However, if you can build up the courage to talk to him, just have small talk and YOU be the one to end the converstaion, you will show him a lot. Talk for a few minutes, and say, Hey, I need to run, it was nice to hear from you and ill talk to you soon.

    You can't expect someone to call up and say hey, I want you back...Trust me, I'm in the same boat, although my girlfriend was the one who left me. I just posted something on it in "breakup" section. Listen, its a gradual process, something that doesn't happen over night. If it is something that is going to last, it won't happen over night - it will take time but the longer it takes, the stronger it will become. Take one day at a time, don't be aggressive and be cool about it. Keep busy, and make HIM miss you now.

    hope all works out for the both of us :)

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What Girls Said 2

  • You should call him because guys tend not to know how to ask for sum1 back, I know and yes it will be awkward so don't say do you want me back. Simply say something like: "hey, sorry for that text but I am sort of lonely and don't wanna talk on the phone so if you're not busy y don't you come over? then we can talk." because it;s easier talking face to face.

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  • Hun I feel your pain. I've been split with my boyfriend for 5 months now and he calls me occasionally to "talk" as well. And yes it IS very hard to just "talk" to someone when you know ( or think you know) that they don't want to come back.I agree with the gentleman who answered above in that men are not going to just come out and say he wants you back Its an ego thing, I think. I'm not sure if it's what he wants or not. All I can tell you is, if you DO want him back, then you could TRY to be "friends with him. And see if eventually he wants to get back with you. If the calls get more psersonal ib which he asks or hints about coming back then pursue it. If he just keeps on stringing you along as a comfort for him, then I would let him go.

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