Is it really the reason HE gave me?

i was dating this guy for 5months everything was great I even introduced my little girl to him which was a 1st for me and she is 6. he knew how I felt about bringing her around.. he was great with her, he is a dad himself but has a crazy ex that tends to hold her over him.

I always heard she was reasons for his last breakups not so much they got back together just that she is a BIA.

anywho we were great spent 4 days at the beach together and had a BLAST.. he talked about rings and always said with his job he never thought he would find someone. He works crazy hours and is out of town a lot and sometime that would hinder him from doing things he always got aggravated with that..

Then a month after the beach he is acting a little shady and I had not seen him for a wk and asked if everything was OK and he said he was just physically and mentally exhausted, which I understood then I asked him over text if he is still my baby and he says yeah I just need some time to get my ducks in a row and I say OK just explain to me more tomorrow and he did he just said he couldn't start a family and do the things he wanted to do with this job and all. so I'm still thinking things are good then he calls all week and by the weekend I feel avoiding for the 2nd weekend in a row so by sat I finally had enough and I call and I had to drag it out of him that he needed time.. he felt pulled in all directions and he didn't want me to sit over here feeling avoided. he just needed to get his stuff straight I asked if this was just someone he was dating or did she see this as more he says I could see my self marring you I guess it just scares me..

WTH

i liked the kid and sucks to let my guard down then have these reasons be given to me.. HURTS

i haven't talked to him and its been 2 weeks.. I would love to know he would text/call then I would feel like hey your thinking about me and maybe all could be OK..?

Any advice is helpful


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  • Ok, he works away a lot, maybe he is tired and stuff. His job consumes a lot of his free time, and he had made time to be with you before he started to change. There is an old saying work to live, not live to work. If all he is doing is just eating, sleeping and working then that is not good. But on the other hand, if him being away so often can make one think if he is seeing someone else and cannot find the time to be with you both.

    But then he may be just tired and needs to sort stuff out. But if he wanted to be with you, he would be. Not contacting you isn't a good sign. He should have been more upfront with you, if he wasn't sure it was working or not.

    The fact is you do not know how long you will have to wait for him to contact you, and that is unfair as he cannot expect you to sit at home and twiddle your thumbs. You cannot wait around for him forever.

    You need to contact him, if you don't hear from him this week. Ask to arrange to meet with him over some lunch, during the day time as it is less pressure and doesn't look like a date. Say it would be nice and it would be fun. If he says yes, then keep cool, be polite, friendly and you can ask your questions later. But if he says no, then the time is not right just yet, then say perhaps another time. Just see how it goes.

    But life isn't all about work, he should be with you

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  • well, tell him to hurry it up and treat you better if he sees you as a potential in h is future he should be treating you right right now!

    If he is treating you bad, and ignoring you and keep not calling to check on you

    then you should leave the guy

    just tell him, to make up his mind if he wants to spend time with you when he is free... even if he isn't free.

    I dated a guy who was super busy and he MADE time for me. He was in the army in Italy and I was in the states, he met me and he was in the states just to take this course... very hard course... when he met me, he still called me for an hour each night and made effort to allow me to come see him or come and see me (3 hour drive each way). But the point is, if you are more important than his job and his "ducks in a row" whtever that means... then he'd make time for you so you'd be in his future.

    My boyfriend said I was the most important thing in the world for him, and I meant everything. See if your boyfriend say the same. good luck

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