I don't think my partner thinks about her actions, but tries to flip blame to me when confronted about it?

Been in this relationship for nearly 4 years now. I do everything I can to make her life easier; iron her clothes before work, make her coffee, make dinner every night, clean and generally do everything she doesn't.

Now, I don't have an issue with doing any of this, if there was some input on her side. I've spoken to her about helping out and she immediately gets defensive and uses her mental health as a way of not doing anything.

Yesterday I got really hurt by what she did. I unfortunately had to take the day off work due to illness, it wasn't pretty, fever, nausea, sweats, it was horrific. Before she went to work she knew I was ill, she knew I'd been sick. But yet she made plans to go do stuff after work... Now I know this sounds like whining, but every time she is ill, I'm home immediately after work, cancel plans, try and do everything I can to make things easier and help her feel better. When I raised my concern she snapped at me and said "Right, how was I meant to know you weren't at work, he came in and made plans in person, what was I meant to do?"

I kindly responded "I've been violently sick since the moment you left for work, I thought you would be coming home given how I am. Given that everytime you are ill, I make sure to look after you and help as much as possible."

This exploded into her blaming me for not keeping her informed, and that she wouldn't have made plans had she known I wasn't going into work (I work in the food industry, after being sick it's 48hours before you can handle food again).

Im at the end of my tether, I really love her but she hurts me in ways I wasn't aware of. I feel so played, I feel like a 2nd thought. It was my birthday a few months back, no card no present no thought.

Anyone been in a similar situation?
Advice would be greatly appreciated.
I don't think my partner thinks about her actions, but tries to flip blame to me when confronted about it?
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