This is linked to my other question, but from advice from family, friends and strangers alike I have decided that I would be happier being single and not being with him anymore because I can't forgive what he has done (telling another woman he loves her but telling me that he would cut off contact but never doing so). However, during the entire month of stringing me along, whenever I got upset and mentioned that I wanted to leave or breaking up would be better than feeling this way, he would get extremely upset and say he couldn't live without me and that he needed me.
When we agreed to go on a break, I'm the one that pushed that I should leave his apartment as soon as possible and I took all my things. He saw this as a break up and when I went back to pick up some things I had left I found that he had been crying all day and had self-harmed and attempted to slash his neck and had checked the room for places to hang himself. He really doesn't think he can live without me. Only one friend of his knows the full extent of this and that is because I told them so afterwards. He only calmed down when I reassured that it was just a break and that we hadn't decided to break up yet. But he can't keep doing this when we agreed that the break was to decide whether we should break up or not. It feels like he isn't actually giving me a choice but hoping that time apart will make me forgive him or miss him enough to go back. How should I approach this situation when I know that I would be unhappy being with him?
Most Helpful Guy
Thats really hard :( But when have to give him a signal, that this manipulation won't work on you. As soon as you send him the signal that there is a discussionroom he will take that and maybe then the same shit will happen over and over again. Because if you ain't happy with him you will probably always will go in the direction break up. I think you shouldn't make him hope that there could be a keep going. You can't help him. Make sure that he gets help from friends and family and if he can't take the help from them. It may sounds hard, but you can't force someone to live. If someone really wants to die, then you can't stop him. Even in psychological instituts people kill them self. Its hard to accept, but its part of life and doesn't make sense to make your life like hell. I wish you the best. Much Love, you can do it!0