It’s embarrassing. We only dated for about three months, and it’s been eight months since. He probably doesn’t think about me at all at this point, so he sure as hell probably doesn’t still have feelings for me like I do for him. That really depresses me. He brought up breaking up because he was moving a city over for college and I sort of went a little crazy, and I feel like that just pushed him more. My best friend had died about two weeks prior, and this just wasn’t a good time for me. I would freak out on him and others randomly, I just didn’t know how to cope, so I believe I really caused the breakup because of how unstable I was. Anyhow, I really did love him. What we had was really odd; we connected the instant we started talking to each other. I’ve never had anyone able to understand me so quickly. He loved all the things I thought to be embarrassing about myself, and he made me so damn happy. We had such strong feelings for each other, and we didn’t even have to talk about it. We just knew, and it just casually happened. I don’t even know how to explain it, but it was magical. I wish I would have fought for him more. He understood me like no one else ever had, and he understood and didn’t run when he learned about my past (abuse, family issues, etc.), in fact he made me realize that my past made me the strong person I am today. But obviously not strong enough, because I haven’t thought about him in months. And now, all of a sudden, I miss him more than ever. Why is this happening to me? There’s nothing I can do, because I know he wouldn’t feel the same since he’s the one who basically ended things. I never knew I could miss someone so much.
Also, I have been with other guys after him. I’ve talked to other guys, made out with other guys, but none of them even came close to the way he made me feel.