Hey so here's the gist- my boyfriend doesn't like me not being here, he basically insists that im the only thing that makes his life ok, but i have family and friends who i love and love to see, whom he's never gotten along with, so he never comes with me. I basically have to ask his permission then deal with a bit of an attitude for awhile. I have anxiety so i snapped & last night he said 'he didn't want to hold me back' (its hard to go out with anxiety so its a big deal for me to anjoy going out) and that things would only get worse. I thought it was his roundabout way of letting me go... we slept on it, and now he's basically asking me to go along with it, and thats it, i need to ask his permission, put up with the attitude, limit going out as often as poss, and its going to get worse! We've been together 10 years. Am i an asshole? I dont know what to do. he's implied if i ever left him hed kill himself, or at least give up on everything. I do love him though, does that count if im miserable? Im so screwed.
On day 2 of fight need help?
What Guys Said 2
How about not asking for permission and simply saying you are going and that's that? This is plain manipulation and I should know.0
What Girls Said 1
After 10 years I would not have expected him to be acting like this. In my opinion you don't need to ask for his permission, would've thought you would only need to take his feelings into consideration. No, you're not an asshole, and I'd hate to see you cut off from your family and friends, you cannot rely on your significant other only. No I don't believe it is worth you being miserable just so he can be happy. It's quite selfish him threatening you like that, because that's a massive weight on your shoulders since you care about his well being. If you want to make it work, there has to be a compromise. Suggest coming to a deal that once a week (a specific day if that helps him) you go out and see whomever you would like to, whether it's family or friends. And then the rest of the time he can have your attention. But to be honest, sounds a bit toxic and for your own sake I think it would be best if you called it off1
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