Am I the problem or is he? Abusive confusing relationships?

Hi, I don’t normally post on these things but I am so confused & hurt. Me and my boyfriend have been together for 2 years and after the first 6 months it became a bumpy ride. We seem to argue constantly and can’t agree on much, if anything. Our first real argument was about 4-5 months into our relationship and that was the first time he called me a bitch and told me he’d rather date my best friend. He later apologized and said it wasn’t true. He’s also called me a bitch in front of my cousins, and has told me I do nothing but bring him down, called me a hoe, a crybaby, every name in the book. I know I’m not perfect and I used to not say mean things back but I’ve started to spew nasty words back at him in an attempt to give him a taste of his own medicine. About 5 months ago I saw snapchat messages of him and his ex in his phone and swears up and down it wasn’t him who sent the messages, that it was his friend! I don’t believe him and he says “if I trusted him I would believe him.” I trusted him up until this event and Everytime I talk about how he’s disrespectful he says “trust me and I wouldn’t have to.” But it’s so hard after seeing that! He has a history of lying to me. For example, he said he was at home one day, i popped up at his house and turns out he’s at a restaurant. Why not be truthful? He has called me out of my name, put His hands on me (choking, pulling) and has been caught in lies. The messages with his ex make me really insecure I cry myself to sleep every night. I love this guy so much I don’t want to end things but feel like I might have to. To make things worse, when we got together he got me hooked on smoking weed, so now Everytime we chill we smoke. Sometimes I feel like I can’t live without it. It’s gotten to the point where he tells me he doesn’t want me and he consistently breaks up w me just to text me again and say sorry. Im isolated w no friends, I go to university then go homeThis is just the surface please help any suggestions? Thanks a ton.
Am I the problem or is he? Abusive confusing relationships?
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