Was it an abusive relationship or am I the wrong one?

I was with someone for three years, he did a lot of good things for me and all he ever asked of me was to lose weight and become attractive to him as well as quitting my job... I ruined the relationship because I could never lose the weight (I was a size 14) I act kept gaining I got to size 16 at biggest.. I just felt ridiculously insecure and miserable and scared that I was never pleasing him, even when I would clean the house top to bottom, it wasn't done right.. he would starve me of sex until I started begging for it. I basically turned into a pathetic woman. I walked out three months ago, I started going to the gym and became fitter and happier but I equally felt bad because I should have done that for him. We were always v amicable, we have a lot of the same friends anyway and after we split he was telling me that I never need to change and that I was beautiful.. oh how I wish he said that when we were together! I kept apologising for being so ugly to him... out of the blue last week he blocked me when I asked to collect some boxes from our old house now I have no way of contacting him and don't understand why he did that and now I feel useless again


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What Guys Said 5

  • An ill fit? Maybe. But that is by no means abusive. It sounds like you both struggled with the relationship and his comment after your split makes me think he wanted to want you so bad. He wanted to be attracted to the woman he loved and it was something that could be done.

    The way I see it you guys were both sad because you wanted to be happy and make each other happy. When he said you didn't need to change the reason he said that afterwards is because he knew it wasn't true when you were in a relationship together.

    As for blocking you I have no explanation. Maybe he just wanted to move on after you left him, and remaining in contact would just be torture for him. He's probably scared in the sense that he doesn't want to linger around you, like an alcoholic keeping around a sealed bottle knowing he can never drink it

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  • You did a great thing by leaving. Find a guy that's less demanding and more accepting from the get-go. From you account, you're definitely not the wrong one. It's time for you to move on.

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  • What a asshole, don't care about him, don't look back! What you did was really brave!

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  • You did all that! Whats your number ill be right over!

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  • Don't blame yourself he should've motivated u instead of hindering u his loss not yours

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