Is this a permanent breakup or is this one of those breakups that will just make the relationship stronger?

So my ex and I broke up about two weeks ago. During the breakup we were both emotional and he said his reasons were that he doesn't have time for the relationship anymore (he just got a new job) and he thinks he's not making me happy anymore, plus he wants to be more independent. We were both in tears while we discuss what went wrong about the relationship (while we were hugging). The break up talk took like 4 hours! Before he left, we both hugged and kissed each other and said our thank yous and I love yous. So when he left I texted him first and told him that I accept the break up and that he should get his things right away in my place. I gave him specific instructions like to text me first before he comes over and to give me back my dead dad's necklace which I gave to him (it's a sentimental piece for me and I don't want to lose it forever). He didn't follow those instructions. He said he'll give me my things back ASAP but a week later, I haven't gotten signs that my stuff would arrive.

Of course, I still want to reconcile with him but I'm acting in a way so that I can move on fast even if we might not get back together again. I deleted all our pics together, unfriended him and his friends on FB and went NC. I've also now got new hobbies lined up and made plans with friends to meet up. I also avoid posting emotional stuff on social media, so if he snoops around I'd seem to do just fine at least.

Aside from not returning my stuff, he still hasn't deleted my close friends and family on his FB. Hell, he's still in the group chat with my sis and her boyfriend and some other friends. However, he hasn't contacted me or anything lately.

What do you think are his actions indicative of? Is there any sense in still hoping for reconciliation? And based on how I'm acting now, what are my chances?

Also, when's a good time to follow up on getting my stuff back?

P. S. There are more details I've left out or else this post would be longer. So ask away for clarifications :)


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What Guys Said 3

  • I make it a firm policy to not date people I break up with or who break up with me.

    If the relationship was strong it wouldn't have failed in the first place.

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  • Ill just say "People make time for the things they want in thier life." & leave it at that.

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  • Go to. his place and take your stuff them leave he will talk to you then

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    • He lives an hour away and I think showing up at his place will just add more drama. I told him before to leave my stuff at my building's lobby (which he agreed to do, but still hasn't done).

    • Well that thing (the neckless) is more impoetante than the hour... you need to go ther bue be clear, sai to him that you dont whant to fight... easy... he must respect that... and you get your stuff... you soudnt be waiting for that... that stuff is priceless... sorry for my English by the way

What Girls Said 1

  • He might be busy (afterall, you two did break up).

    Honestly, I don’t see any break ups as “something that will make us stronger”. From my experience, when the seal breaks, it’s ruined.

    He might not be letting go as easily... or he might be busy. Either way, you might want to text him and ask him to mail your things to you.

    Or you could text him and ask if he could meet up to exchange things. And talk at the same time.

    If he is really that busy, though. Why don’t you just participate in more activities/job to occupy your time so you two don’t notice you aren’t spending as much time together? Time spent together will have to be more deliberately planned, but that isn’t necessarily a bad thing.

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    • Yeah, he might just be busy - but I was counting on him to send my stuff back right away coz he said so. At the moment I'm preoccupied with work, school and being more social + all the hobbies I wanted to try, but I can't help but to ruminate over things from time to time as well (which I think is normal post break up lol)

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