My boyfriend and I were together for 4 years we got together in high school but there has been a lot of back and forth between us for a while. After the initial "honeymoon phase" the way he communicated with me changed drastically he became very bad with communicating and texting. Sometimes he would go two or more days just not replying to my texts when he could. I would always tell him I'm not expecting a full out conversation 24 hours a day but just check in in the morning and evening. That didn't seem too difficult in my opinion but he could never do it and it caused a lot of nagging on my part and made me feel like he didn't care. Well last week was just really awkward I could tell he was being distant and then on Thursday we met up to talk and he said he had been thinking about it and wanted to break up. I tried to talk to him about it but it seemed like he had his mind made up which made me angry because I didn't understand how he could have been thinking this way for who knows how long without bringing it up to me at least once before it reached that level of actually breaking up? Anyways, we went back and forth for a while and he was getting mad because he just wanted it to be "easy" but like a break up shouldn't be easy so that made me upset it's like he just didn't care at all about my feelings and thoughts on it when I have always given him the benefit of the doubt and given him chances to talk about the issues before I just make assumptions and decide for myself. By the end of it things were in a weird place we were just sitting in silence for a while and I asked him if we could just take some space before fully breaking up and he said yes and then I abruptly left. It's been a week since then and we haven't talked. I'm not sure if he just said yes to get the conversation over with or what and I don't know if I should text him and ask him where we stand or wait longer? But I'm scared he will just never text me if I don't myself. What should I do?
Most Helpful Guy
you got angry because he didn't wanna communicate with you that he wanted to break up? he's been horrible at communication pretty much the entire relationship with you it seems. that's always going to be an issue with you two. you even said you felt like you were nagging him about it, which probably made him want to communicate with you even less. you've been together since high school. Those relationships are not supposed to last forever. why exactly do you wanna stay in a relationship with someone that doesn't communicate with you? What do you get out of being in a relationship with him? I know its familiar and you're comfortable with him, but wanting to communicate with your partner is imperative when it comes to having a successful and healthy relationship. he doesn't seem to care enough about you to even try to work on that.0THIS IS NOT RELEVANT ANYMORE
Most Helpful Girl
The fact that you were together that long and had things go down hill the way it did, unfortunately, does not give me much hope. I am not gonna even sugar coat it. I feel like a couple who wants to make it work, will let it work. If to him, his love for you was so strong, he wouldn't have chosen to leave, let alone take a break. I really believe 2 people in love will be too scared of losing the other to do something as drastic as breaking up or even mentioning it.
I think you two drifted apart and somewhere along the lines the spark just faded for him. There could be many reasons (do not blame yourself!) but I feel like it is on HIM to get back with you as he was the one who pretty much ended things when he said he wants to break up. It doesn't make sense at all that you'd somehow think it is on you to win him over when HE is the one who should be initiating it as he decided to walk away.
If he really loves you and wants, he'll come. If he doesn't, you know it was never meant to be and I promise you will be OK. 4 years is a long time so it's normal that you are in panic mode, but I cannot emphasize the importance of taking it ONE day at a time. Do not think too far into the future. Right now, just get through each day.0THIS IS NOT RELEVANT ANYMORE