Why would my boyfriend dump me & tell me it’s because HE changed?

We were together about 7 months, he begged me to date him & begged me to move in with him. Things were going okay, or so I thought. A few days ago he dumped me and said he changed and he isn’t the same person. I have horrible anxiety and always worried and be would help me a lot. I was honest and up front about this from the start. I know I have issues so why hide them? He was okay with it and said he was on board for everything. We argued recently within the last month a LOT. Some about me and my issues and some about his issues (like drinking). He came to me a few days ago saying he change and he isn’t happy and I deserve better and someone with more patience. Im shocked and hurt considering he told me he would always be here and he would always help me and never leave. 2 weeks ago I have messages from him saying how happy I made him and were spike mates. I just can’t figure out what happened. When I ask him, he said he changed and he didn’t know it until he was with me. His ex cheated and really messed him up. I thought this whole time we were going to be okay and it was just a bad time. And he left. I was totally wrong. Did he just wanna be single and drink and not worry about me or my problems? Did I push him away even though I was trying so hard and told him from the start? Will he get bored of going out and being lonely and come back? I need help :(


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What Guys Said 3

  • First of all if you take him on face value he needs to work on himself before he can be any good to anybody else and that is something that is commendable and it very well may be true but at the same time if usually when someone says those things they are not planning on changing who they are and they have not changed who they are they either met somebody else or they no more about you now and the newness and the Mystery of the relationship is gone and you are two different people either way I can tell you not to feel the anxiety or the stress but you're going to it's a process you have to go through but you can't make somebody love you or like you and the more you try the more you'll hurt yourself so as hard as it is to accept you have to ironically when you accept something like that if there's any hope for the relationship you'll find it because the other person will see A+ aspect of you as you except his decision strong people are attractive people weak needy people are a turn-off so even if you have to fake it be strong

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  • He did the right thing. It seems you want a boyfriend you can always rely on and he knew he couldn't live up to that standard. He acknowledged his own limitations.

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  • Is he trying to show that he doesn't care anymore but i think he does. He is just trying to make u feel that u were wrong... may be he is pretending to make to feel more curious about him... may be he is doing all these to tell u indirectly that he doesn't want you to argue with him on topics he doesn't like boozing... i guess u need to turn the table... try same with him and chk his behaviour... ignore him... and check his behaviour

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