Advice on getting over a 3 year relationship?

I can't stop thinking about him and I'm always sad if I'm not busy.


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What Guys Said 15

  • It takes time to heal hurt. You have to start thinking of why it happened and start understanding what made the relationship bad or end. Once you can start understanding that the breakup was probably meant to be and stop thinking about how lonely you feel right now, then you will start having closure to the whole thing. Start by accepting being by yourself and try to enjoy the benefits of being single. Get comfortable with yourself again and be happy with yourself again. You don't need someone to validate your happiness really. Once you get to this point, then it gets easier to find the right person that you want in your life and that you can't live without. Obviously this guy wasn't that person since after 3 years, something just didn't connect totally or fit perfectly for the relationship to keep going. It takes some time, but you will get to this point. Just use this last relationship to build on a better one later and understand what you want and don't want in a relationship and person.

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    • Thank you! I'll take this time to reflect on everything I don't want in my next

  • Just when you think your world is crumbling, pause for a moment with this thought: many cool guys are looking for a girl like you right now.

    In my last breakup, the following worked for me; it could work for you too.

    # Step 1
    Accept you can't switch off your feelings for him like a switch light. Come to terms with your helplessness—your inability to control forces outside your control.

    # Step 2
    Feel the hurtful feelings of breaking up; don't divert your focus from them. Diverting focus from the hurtful feelings slows your recovery.

    # Step 3
    Accept he is no longer with you. Nursing hope and fighting to win her back was a big mistake I made in my first breakup. It only heightens the pain and prolongs the recovery process.

    # Step 4
    Focus on the good memories he brought to your life and on things you'd have loved to experience with him. Following the breakup, I made the mistake to focus on her weaknesses, convincing myself she wasn't my type. I was merely lying to myself because if she wasn't good enough I won't have been with her in the first place.

    # Step 5
    Remove items (e. g. clothes, cosmetics, pictures, etc.) you associate with him. Block and delete all his contact details (e. g. phone number, email address, whatsapp, Facebook, Instagram, snapchat, etc.). No direct or indirect contact with him whatsoever. Block even his closed friends if necessary.

    # Step 6
    While carrying out the above five steps, engage in new or abandoned hobbies. Schedule targets for each hobby to do daily or weekly. If not of my last breakup, I wouldn't have been writing this opinion post now. I took on writing, road/trail running, and cross fitness exercises as hobbies.

    # Step 7
    Draw inspiration from a previous breakup or personal life challenge. I reflected on my very first breakup. It dawn on me I had a new girlfriend months later. I then flashed my mind back to the current breakup. I then questioned myself rhetorically: why am I even feeling sad? It suddenly changes my mood. It's like telling myself I have been through this before, and came out stronger 6 to 12 months.

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  • Get rid of every single thing you have of them. Pictures, gifts, Momentos, everything. Stop putting them on a pedestal as if they are the greatest man to walk the earth. There are billions more out there. You have to start consciously telling yourself (and believing) that you are better without them, and they suffered the greater lost, and that you do t need them and will find a better man than he was in every way

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  • Easy.

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  • Well all you need is to pour out all your emotions to someone who can understand you...
    It doesn't solve the problem but definitely will make it a bit easy...
    Text me if you feel like!
    It's always difficult to get over it!

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  • Don't ever repeat such mistake again.

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  • Listen to a bunch of sad songs while looking at all the pictures you took together.

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  • Sadly exactly same situation here...

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  • I'm still trying to get over an 11 year one, and it's already been ending since over a year.

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  • There is a good reason behind everything... 😊

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  • I'm going through the loss of a two year. It fucking sucks. Every moment of the day I sit here thinking about why it happened and if life is worth it. I just cope by staying as busy as possible

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  • Talk to me about it if u want u can pm me

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    • He was my first love and I feel like I'll never feel that way about anyone else again

  • Get back on the horse. If it is over move on find a new love...

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  • Spend your time meeting up with friends , at work or with your family. Keep yourself occupied

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  • It's terrible, because you think about everything you could've done and everything

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What Girls Said 8

  • Ok i was or still is in that situation. I know how it feels. I can offer only one idea. Try and work and work and work and work till you feel like you are dead. Till you are fatigued thats the time you can stop thinking about him. You can do whatever you want you can swim you can clean your house you can do your job with a longer time. Just remember at the end of the day you must be tired. So tired that you have no more energy to think about that person. So tired to fell asleep in just a second. And till you get tired dont stop working on different things

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  • Unfriend him and delete chats with him, that's a good place to start. You just have to give yourself time. Maybe try hanging out with friends or something like that. The big thing is you have to learn to be happy by yourself and know that you are enough and you deserve to be happy

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  • It’s your first breakup you will heal you will meet someone else and you will be happy again. You don’t realise this when it’s the first time because you have nothing to refer back to. You will meet someone else and find how you feel now amusing I promise you this!!!
    The best thing for now is allow yourself to hurt and heal but keep busy too if that helps you. Now when I break up with someone I allow myself a certain amount of time each day to think about him and hurt them I keep busy. Keeping busy all the time doesn’t allow you to heal

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    • Thank you so much! I really appreciate your thoughtful response

  • Start wearing less and going out more, glasses of champagne on the dance floor, hanging with some girls he never seen before

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  • I'm so sorry :,(
    I will say this time and time again. I apologize for it's cliche-ness, but it is true: time helps.

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  • Live your life to the fullest. Explore other men. Men are a dime a dozen and I have no problem replacing my man if he gives me a reason to dump him.

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  • It’s hard when you miss someone that you love, it’s normal to go through these emotions.
    I think the best thing to do is think about the things and people that make you feel happy and try and focus your energy there.
    If you like walking, music, animals, reading, nature, beaches, eating out etc try and spend time enjoying these activities.
    Also I don’t know the situation of what caused the split, but if you really miss them and you could sort it, then talk to them and be honest about what you want.
    Life throws us curve balls and things seem real bad but believe me time and the right focus will help.

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  • I'm 7 months out of a three year relationship, and it gets easier bit by bit... but I still think about him often.

    That's love. You can't really do anything to make it go away. It just does. Or it doesn't. Either way, you threw the dice... now you just have to try to live with the outcome.

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    • Thank you. Are you in a new relationship?

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    • Oh yeah... that part is really hard. When all your day dreams involve that person, and you have to think up new ones. It's sucky.

    • You know exactly what I'm going through right now. It's insane.

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