Have I done the right thing or should I have waited?

On Friday my abusing ex phoned me and screamed down the phone as I had not gone to soft play with him and our son... instead I went out for the day after texting him that we should have a break as he was getting very intense... anyway he says that he is cutting me off etc and he does not want to be hurt anymore... call me a control freak for asking if he could commit a couple of hours a fortnight on the same day to his son... and many other names... so I think well that is that and today I dropped all of the stuff he has bought him (our son) outside his flat in a plastic bag... I do not want it reminding me of him anyway was this too much?


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  • So you are the custodial parent but you want your ex to have his and your son for a couple of hours fortnightly. That all sounds fine, assuming he's OK with it.
    You dumped all the toys that he bought your son, back with your ex. I suppose that's OK. He'll need them although it sounds a little petty.
    And is this a temporary break or is it over?
    Where it gets tricky, for me, is that you're going to need a working relationship with him because you have a son together. And right now, I'm hearing a lot of anger on both sides.
    It going to difficult and stressful unless you can get a grip on that.

    • He is verbally abusive we broke up over a year ago and there was an injunction... I asked him to say can you be a dad and when would you be able to see him.. he said he could not commit to a time and that I was a control freak for asking him for a regular time he could see his son... on Friday he phoned me up and screamed lots of obscene things down the phone and did he was pulling the plug... I have merely returned what he bought with the receipts as he will ask me for the money back otherwise and I cannot afford this! I am not angry just fed up as I really wanted this to work and as soon as he does not get his own way he is back to his old tricks calling me names, belittling me in public, accusing me of silly things.. I have put the past behind me but when he does the same things as when we were together I guess I feel that I should have just left things alone as he does not seem to be able to act like an adult in front of our son

    • Ah ok. That's really unfortunate. Have you gone through the legals with child support, custody and access? It sounds like informal agreements aren't working too well.

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