How do you deal with a break up?

So I was wondering, after you have been in a relationship that after a couple of years comes to an end, how do you get over it, what do you do to sort of move on.

Me personally, I have a bit of a weep, then break open a bottle of Jack Daniels, watch some tv, go out and have a couple of more drinks at a pub and then a good drunken slumber.


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What Girls Said 13

  • My husband was my first date, he took my virginity, we have been married for 17 years. He warned me that he did not know the eord of divorce or break up... We have had many ups and downs... There were timed I hated him badly and wantef to die, but now I am grateful I am beside him, and everything turned out right... Relationships are hard because two imperfect humans are together, but it is worth for fighting for.

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    • i'm very happy that you two made it, not without struggle's but its that goal that counts, it truly is worth fighting for

  • I listen to music that reminds me of him, go out and be insanely reckless because I know how much it would piss him off, after that, I cry on the closet floor for a while, talk to a friend about how much I hate the guy but how much I still want to fuck him, and then sleep. I drink too or smoke, or both, anything to not think about what's bothering me

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  • Think about his flaws (everyone has some). This really worked for me. Whenever I felt sad, I would think about the things about him that drove me nuts. His bad habits, his annoying chewing, etc.

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    • Yeah okay, that could help.

      I mean usually with my ex it was our relation ended because we grew apart.
      So not so much that we were annoyed with one another

  • For me it was about the same every time.
    I use to listen to loud music (mostly metal) in the hope that that would make my thoughts shut up. For some reason I can't cry about a breakup at all and just feel completely empty and numb.
    For the first few weeks I do not have any appetite and lose at least 5-10kg.
    Since I can't get any sleep in the first time I'm gaming and drink tons of coffee in order to remain functional during the day. I try to do stuff with friends daily because I can't stand to be on my own.
    It takes me about a month till I can sleep trough at night again and about half a year till I'm not feeling that down anymore.
    Thats also about the time I'm starting to feel ready for someone new.

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    • wow, thats a very open and heartfelt message, thank you for adding it!
      i see a lot of it that happend over here, part from the last 2 sentences.

  • I hear sad music until the feeling is gone while my best friend tries to convince me to go partying every day and find a new guy. Chocolate, wine and a cigarette use to be a great help too.

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    • yeah, made a spotify playlist for that one
      and yeah, but i'll usually do beef jerky, whiskey and a carton of cigarettes :P

      thanks for you input :)

    • Happy to help :)

  • Mourn.

    And find someone else.

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    • its that second part that is the issue
      i'ts been 2 and a half years now
      i'll save you the rest :P

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    • its not so much the moving on from her, its the going on dates part, but i joined a group on here i suppose :P that counts right?

    • Yeah it counts :)

  • I give myself time to think about everything. Good and bad as well as what I did wrong and what he did wrong. Then I would say I cry a lot and then I start watching series and going out with friends. Maybe also look around for flirts to realise that just because the relationship failed doesn't mean I am no longer attractive. When I then feel ready I start deleting all the pictures and to throw out all the reminders of the relationship. I also change things in my apartment and my appearance so that I am completely happy with me when I look into the mirror. True happiness comes from within and moving on means to find happiness in yourself again.

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  • You can't deal with a break up when your too ugly and awkward to even get into a relationship

    😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

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  • Try to get him out of my mind, hang out with my friends, try to let my emotions out and find a new one

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  • Obsess over EVERY single bad thing about him, from the time he didn’t make it a priority to reply to my text to his breath smelling funny sometimes. Work, read, play in my makeup then go out with my makeup done, download a dating app if for nothing else an ego boost... possibly fuck someone & spend time with friends.

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  • Get a rebound guy, but keep it very casual they never last n relationship

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    • right, that'd not really work in my case, i dont think a rebound girl will help me :P

      why that image tho? is that to make him see you'll do anyone?

  • I don't know, I've never broken up with anyone.

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    • have you always been in the same relationship? or did you mean you didn't break up with anyone but they broke up with you?

    • No I've never dated anyone. :P

    • Your time will come ^_^

  • I wrote a list of all the things I didn’t like about my ex. I added to it over a few weeks and then burnt it along with any reminders of him. Then I went out and just had fun. No hook ups (not at first anyway) just out having drinks and dancing with friends. It made things a lot easier and I learnt to love myself

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    • But the burning stuff, isn’t that mainly a good feeling if the relationship broke because of a/numerous fights, like what if you two just choose to split because you’ve agreed to grow apart?

    • Yeah that would be a totally different situation but it may still help. There would have been some flaws in this girl that you wouldn’t have liked. It may help remove some of what you’re holding on to

    • Yeah, I mean it’s been nearly 3 years, probably should get rid of the ring she gave me

What Guys Said 7

  • That depends on how the relationship was going but basically, I try to keep my mind busy... family gathering, go out with some friends, gym... exercise really helps me when I want to disconnect from the world... so find something that you really enjoy... that makes you forget the world.

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    • Very useful answer, thank you man

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    • Thanks man, and you too :)

    • Thanks! 👊🏻

  • I dunno... I actually enjoy my solitude. Its a mixed bag. Sometimes I just want company and other times I relish in being able to do whatever I want, whenever I want, etc.

    That means... making friends, going to bars, hitting the gym, getting guy hobbies... its pretty great. No contact is key.

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    • like no contact with the ex girl, i mean yeah like you say, its a mixed bag, i like spending time on my own, but after a couple of months, it gets old, i've found my hobby's, the barstool basically has an me shaped imprit

      Thanks for your comment :)

  • I don't know. I usually weep and then somehow move on

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  • 1) Seek professional help
    2) Keep busy
    3) Avoid looking at what that person is upto
    4) Use your free time to catch up with friends and family
    5) Avoid rebounding
    6) Look at what caused the relationship to end, so you can be better prepared for next time

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    • Don’t you think professional help is a bit much?

    • I guess it depends on your situation.

      A good friend or family member is good to talk too, but professionals are trained to deal with these types of issues. These are the things, I'd personally do, but each to their own.

    • Yeah exactly, I was just curious about your response and agree that to each their own

      But thank you for your reply

  • Im a talker, so i talk about it with friends. And I dont drink alcohol at all while im Down.
    I need to feel what i need to feel.

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    • I just bottle it up
      Been told that’s the “mans” way of doing it

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    • That's the Thing innit?
      Nxt day you just have to deal with hangovers, moral hangovers and perhaps not knowing what you'd been doing last night.

      But like i said earlier, we all deal with it in our own way. Some more selvdestruktiv than others 🙂

    • Oh the hangover will hurt pretty bad yeah, but I know whilst I’d do what I’ve been doing, yeah I’ve been told I can be self destructive

  • Dude. Just go do what you love and enjoy your worries away if im making sense. Its okay to wallow in pain but, make sure to get up and get back at yourself also ayt? :)

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    • Thanks Lee, that made perfect sense and I’ll surely keep that in mind ! 🙂

  • I go to a bar with some friends and get rejected by every girl I flirt with.

    It legit helps.

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