My boyfriend left me i'm pregnant, what shall I do?

My boyfriend is an American and I'm Chinese. We've been together 2 and half years. Ten days ago he sneaked away from me when I was out of town. He left 5 emails to me. It was like "when you are reading this email I am on the plane to go home". He told me he wasn't in love with me anymore, our relationship had problems.
He planned this secretly, even the day before he left I told him i might pregnant. But he still gone.
I didn't say anything about this. I predicted he would do this because he is not stable and reasonable. He made a group chat to tell everyone I am a horrible person. I kept quiet about everything. At the fourth day he started to send me email, say how much he misses me, I didn't say anything about the situation, it hurts him. It shows I don't care.
After another 3 days I went to the hospital, got the hospital report of the pregnancy. I kept thinking about if I need to tell him. Then I think he has the right to know. I messenged him I'm pregnant with the test results. He seemed happy. He told this to his group chat friends. All his friends only know all the bad things he said about me. They all think I was faking it. They said very bad things to me and he started to call me a liar.
I sent the ultrasound report to him the next day, he started to believe it's real. He post my ultrasound report to the group chat let everyone laugh at me.
The next day he totally changed his mind. He started to beg me marry him. He apologized the wrong things he has done, confessed he took my money secretly when he was leaving. It was $6000. Say how much he loves me, I am a great great girl he will move back to China in one month. I think he is a horrible person and a thief. There is no way I would marry this guy.
After I said no to him two days in row, he started to say very mean things to me. I am not sure should I stop talking to him or let him get involved in the process and be the father. I don't want he takes my baby to America.

Updates:
He is keeping apologizing to me and paid 80% of my money back. "I knew in my heart you were pregnant, I should not have listened to them or let them that close in our personal life. Please know from bottom of my heart I am very sorry for that"

He really wants a baby. He is only nice to me when he wants something from me.
Hi everyone, I just found out that he took more money from me. He went to my apartment and took the cash when I wasn't there. He is in America now. Is there any possibility to get my money back?

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 15

  • Wow.. you poor gal... what a fucking dick! Want me to kick his ass? You dont need that fucking turd and furthermore you dont need an American husband or father to your child. Im an expatriot for a reason and a thief should be burned at the stake! I really hope the best for you but a thieving coward can't possibly have anything good to teach your child.

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    • He doesn't think he is a thief. He said i just wanted to see how you react, he will pay me back. He paid me half as so far.

    • Wow. I really wanna kick his ass now. He a thief. And a pussy and a coward and his honor is dead. Tell him do us all a favor and kill himself so we dont get tainted by his presence.

  • Why did you get pregnant? You could have used birth control and this would not be such a huge mess.

    Who will your baby call "Daddy?"

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    • We used condoms, except for the first 5 seconds. Nobody expected it.
      The baby will have nobody to call Daddy.

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    • These are expensive lessons to earn!

    • Yes i know. I bought the apartment. I never thought about check the lock of my own apartment. i feel very stupid.

  • This guys a bag of shit. A real man takes care of his children and the mother of his child no matter what. And he stole 6000 dollars from you... Jesus girl... You need to get a good lawyer and pin this jerk off to the fucking boards. Child support brosephine. And I would also report the theft of money to the authorities.

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  • Sounds to me he lost any privilege to be involved with his kid. It wouldn't be a good choice to continually contact this person

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  • Well that sucks :/

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  • He sounds like a shit person. Do you really want your child to be raised by a person like that?

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    • yes he is. thank you for your opinion

    • Best of luck to you on becoming a mother. Being a single mother is difficult. But I think that if you're financially doing well, you'll be ok. And there's always your own familiy like parents and siblings to help. I hope you raise a very smart and beautiful child.

    • its gonna be extremely difficult in China. I will have the deal with all the judgement, but i will be strong. thank you very much.

  • Cut all contact with him.

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    • Should i give up on get the money back?

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    • This is what i was thinking. Thank you very much.

    • Most welcome

  • If you have proof of his treatment towards you, his case will absolutely crumble in court because it shows he's an unfit father.

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  • find someone on GAG

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  • He is a bad boy but women love bad boys.

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    • Yeah clearly. You can tell by the way Asker says "I'll never marry him" that she's loving this.

    • @snowangle she's not loving it but what did she expect? That's how bad boys are.

  • leave the guy. he's not mature enough to handle a kid.

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  • Find a new better man

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  • Why think your alone there' other good men out there

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  • Ask your parents, not GAG

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  • I think it goes without saying, cut off ALL ties with the guy.

    He stole your money! RED FLAG!

    He went behind your back and left you wondering! RED FLAG!

    He didn't initially believe you about the pregnancy. RED FLAG!

    Worst of all and that's saying something, he has an online group that he's made you aware of in which he regularly roasts you with his friends. A HUGE RED FLAG!

    I'm sorry you have to go through all of this ridicule and harassment.

    I promise you can do so much better! Just move on! I know it will be hard.

    Do whatever it takes but don't let yourself be fooled by him anymore!

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    • Thank you. I don't have any emotion left about him, the baby is totally unexpected.

    • What do you intend on doing about the baby?

      You have to realise, the baby's the only one that's not at fault here.

    • Read the update, my advice still stands and hasn't changed.

      Hope all goes well!

What Girls Said 10

  • I'm so sorry to hear this. My heart honestly breaks for you. I'm so so so fucking sorry that you had to go through this. You don't deserve this. At all. I trust you're a wonderful woman.

    I'm disgusted by this man that you call your boyfriend. I'm fucking disgusted. How disgusting someone can be and stoop so low, that I will never fathom out. Please please please never get back with him. You deserve someone who won't treat you like a piece of shit. Someone who won't say shit about you and brainwash people into thinking you're a horrible human being. Someone who won't steal your money. Someone who won't back out last minute when finding out you've been pregnant. I'm sorry you fell into this trap, some foreigners are fucked up and only want sex. I'm sorry he didn't value you enough and saw you as an easy girl. I'm sorry you had to meet such an utterly atrocious human being. Please please please dump his ass and never listen to him. He's a liar. A fucking liar. I hate people like him.

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    • Thank you!!! You make me feel that my feeling was right.

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    • He's sick. He's an example of foreign trash.

    • He really is. i am disgusted.

  • "I predicted he would do this because he is not stable and reasonable."

    This line sent shivers down my spine!

    Parents need to be stable and committed to their children, not wandering in and out of their lives whenever they feel like it.

    If my boyfriend wanted to leave me and chose to send me emails instead of telling me to my face as to the reasons why, then that would just the icing on the cake for me. He sounds immature, emotionally insensitive and irresponsible. He has rights and those rights need to be respected but I would swerve any relationship with him directly and do the best you can without him in the main.

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  • Okay good at least you are on the right mindset. He can be a father but he will never be a good father. From your explanation, if he can cyber bully you BEFORE marriage, what makes you think he won't abuse you afterwards. He is a psycho freak who shuns responsibility like a pussy and acts nice for another second. Hell, i wouldn't even befriend someone like him.

    Okay so you need to get your life together girl. You can still be a good parent without him, and your baby will be blessed that he or she doesn't get involved with such a pathetic father.

    Of course in the end it is your choice, and whatever the outcome is i hope you take care of yourself and do what you won't regret

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    • Okay then maybe you can let him take care of the baby ever now and then but if the baby is the only thing that is keeping you guys together, your marriage is not going to work out

  • Forget him.

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  • Hello. I'm sorry about what he did. Congratulation with the baby. You have to do like all of us women have done since the dawn of time. Raise our child or children on our on. Sometimes the men are there and it seems like we are alone. I know it's scary. I don't know why he left. He probably was scared too. It's not an excuse. It's sad after 2 years, he decided to leave. I don't know what the guy problem was. That proves, you never truly know people. You been with him that long and he stole your money, talking bad about you to his friends. You be surprised what men will say about their mates to their friends behind they're backs. They won't be honest. They will take that lie to the grave. But, raise your child. We all have done it. I did it. Until, His dad wanted him. It's okay. You can do. It won't be easy, but you can do it. Best of luck!

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  • i'd get an abortion and forget about this terrible episode of my life.

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    • I was thinking about this also.

    • The baby didn't choose this... you created it in a moment of choice and some form of love or lust. My babies were the best things that happened to me, planned or not. If you don't want it let someone else raise it. You have already created it. It already has a beating heart..

  • Both of you are silly. You are silly because you know what he is like and yet you had sex with him without condom or anything. You are careless too. You are playing the victim, the poor one, but two players play a relationship. If it went wrong, it is both of your faults. You are not better than him at all. Take the consequences.

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    • I will take the consequences. I'm not playing anything. I don't think i'm poor. I do admit that the failing of relationship is both of our fault. i'm not here to blame him and i never said i am better than him.

    • How is she not better than than dickhead? I bet to differ

  • Sounds fake.

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  • Leave him.. he's worthless and doesn't value you as a woman.. make him pay for what he done to you

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  • Find a better one

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