What positives have you gained from a break up?

What positives have you gained from a break up? Experiences, personal improvements etc.

(Especially if you were the one who got dumped)


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Most Helpful Girl

  • After repeatedly getting treated like worthless dirt from all my previous boyfriends, and getting exhausted from it, I changed my whole attitude. First boyfriend of 3 years left me because he said his GRANDPARENTS didn't like me, and weren't going to pay for his college if he didn't leave me. 2nd boyfriend of 3 years, wouldn't let me go grocery shopping with him because I have bad taste in groceries, wtf, and told me he hated my laugh. 3rd Boyfriend, cheated on me with this old hag who has 3 kids, and knocked her up on a one night stand, and THEN moved in with me thinking I would never find out he had a SON on the way...HA...4th boyfriend of 1 year broke up with me while we lived together, and never even moved out, and this is when I got the realitiy check of my life...Stop being a welcome mat for garbage. I started to be a heartless coldblooded bitch. And guess what, about a year later I met my husband and got married, and can be totally happy because the trashy men started to stay away from me, and I got a real man, with real hopes, and real dreams. I couldn't be happier!

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    • Would you please elaborate on what exactly you mean by being a heartless coldblooded bitch? Examples may help.

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What Girls Said 5

  • I've learned to stand up for myself and what's important to me. Probably one of the most important lessons I've learned. Though that's from breaking up with someone... haven't ever been broken up with, actually.

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  • -My first breakup:

    The worst one. I had become too clingy and I didn't have much of a life outside of him lol. So, I didn't know what to do when we seperated. Also, I sort of let him manipulate me.

    -Lesson Learned: Have a life outside of my s.o. and stand up for myself.

    -Second breakup:

    Wasn't as bad. I trusted him at first, but after a while I didn't trust him as much because it seemed like he was always leaving things out. He seemed misleading. I had a lot of outsiders tell me things about him like he was a player and a compulsive liar, (which I really believe) but I shrugged it all off and had faith in him anyways. Even after all this, he broke up with me over something trivial.

    -Lesson Learned: Don't ignore the obvious and go with my intuition.

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    • Wow your second breakup's details sound a lot like my breakup. Weird.

    • Yeah, I said the same thing when I looked at your answer. I thought it looked similar to my lesson haha. Especially the gut instincts part.

  • Trust no one implicitly

    Do what's right for you

    Stick to your principles

    Listen to people

    Gut instincts don't lie

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  • that I eliminated one more guy that wasn't the one

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  • My first break up I learned, NEVER show a MAN "partner" how much you love them.

    To love myself more.

    Be more selfish

    Do not tolerate people who don't respect your wishes or beliefs.

    And my favorite one " Listen to people who are trying to tell you about your partner" I learned that is a big sign, if that person is going to hurt you.

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What Guys Said 3

  • I learned soooooooooo many things from my first relationship. I learned the true meaning of love, what it's like to put someone's happiness before your own, to feel like they're just as important to you as you are, and all those kinds of things. From the breakup (she dumped me, even though she wasn't the greatest honestly and I treated her really well) I learned that you can't let anyone take you for granted. Plus that if you put in a lot more than they do that you can't settle for that and so many other things like that. I learned a lot about life though. Like how you can't live in regret, but learn from those mistakes. And there's no reason you shouldn't be happy. If you're doing something and it doesn't make your life better, then change it. And I realized that I needed more self respect and to not let people walk all over me. There's a difference between being generous and caring about others (which I do a lot), but there's a line between being nice and being used.

    But most of all I think I learned that you can put yourself first. It's not selfish, it's normal. I tend to put others before me, but then I looked around and thought about how often they'd do the same for me, and it wasn't nearly as much.

    Although I am a lot slower to trust anyone because I was screwed over by a few friends, she broke a million promises to me and it took me until the breakup to truly realize it, and a lot bigger things that are too much to explain.

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  • Overall, I made myself a way better person. I sat back and studied my flaws. Once I did that, I stopped my bad habits and proceed with my life. My confidence went up in a lot of things. Like most women will say ' there is nothing more attractive than a confident man'. Take time and make yourself a better person. Take care!

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  • The single best positive thing? I no longer had to date her.

    She broke up with me because I wasn't willing to text her every day. Keep in mind that I needed to stop texting so often because my grades were slipping, not to mention I would be on vacation in a place my phone plan didn't cover.

    Moral of the story: I've learned to stay away from high-maintenance girls. They're way too much trouble to deal with.

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