People Constantly Leave Me?

My third relationship of the year ended yesterday. I always date online, I don't have any other option. But I feel like I treat this people pretty well, and there shouldn't be a reason they'd end it or just up and leave... Could it be that I get pretty invested and serious about them quickly? Or my mental issues? Or that I have a poor personality and I'm fat? I'm just tired of this and its starting to make me dislike myself ): People always tell me to just stop trying and work on myself, but for me, working on myself with someone beside me to love me isn't imaginable...


Most Helpful Guy

  • Yeah, you're not ready to be in relationships. And considering you had three in the year, it seems like you can't just be alone. You need to be able to be comfortable with yourself before you get involved with guys. You can't look for something with the idea that they are going to complete you. You need to be whole on your own first. If you yourself think you are fat and/or ugly, your self esteem is too low to be in a relationship. You need to work on your self esteem, and if you think your weight needs work, then you need to work on that before you jump into anymore relationships. And if you are going to do the online dating thing, you can't go on a date with expectations. You have to take each date one date as a time. That's what the guys are doing. They wanna take it one day at a time and so should you. But you seem young. Don't get strung up on relationships. Work on your education, career, finances, health, hobbies and regular friendships before thinking about another relationship. This may seem harsh, but I have to say, not having your life on track, not being healthy and not having goals is the most unattractive characteristics anyone could have. You seem like a broken person when your life isn't in order, and when you look like that, it seems like you're a project someone has to fix, and no one wants that, especially someone who is around your age. Someone around their age are still trying to get their life in order and they don't want to have to try to help you get your life in order. And being in three relationships wreaks of desperation, which no one wants.
    Look, it's obvious you feel like you need a relationship. And if you have a lot of friends who are in relationships, the pressure increases even more. If you're not patient enough, you're just going through guy after guy, and you'll end up with a guy who is REALLY bad, you're going to get hurt, and regular, drama-free relationships will never be a part of your life. But if you work on your life, better yourself, establish some goals and be very patient, the next guy you meet might be the last guy you have to meet, and you'll be able to have a great, drama-free life.

    • I am a bit desperate, but I don't usually get with any girl I see... I mean I pick relationships that seem to have potential but they just fail. You have to understand why I'd want someone to be there to love and support me. A tiny part of it is I'm trying to get my mental health sorted out because I'm bipolar 2 and I had a overdose and then a really bad breakdown in September. When you live with bad nights and meltdowns and breakdowns, you want someone to be there to make me feel loved and safe. As for my weight I have trouble dieting and my medications aren't helping matters.

    • Show All
    • If you set up a goal to get your weight down, you will reach that goal, and then you're going to set up a whole bunch of other goals in your life. I promise you, if you lose just thirty pounds, a girl will notice, and she's gonna ask you about it. When she does, say "yeah, I've been trying to lose weight. I lost thirty pounds in X amount of weeks". She's going to see that you're goal driven, and as long as you keep making up goals and knocking them down, she's gonna latch on to you because she wants to go for that ride with you. So, set a weight loss goal, and when you start shedding those pounds and that girl latches on to you, set up a goal to save a certain amount of money, set up a goal to by a certain car, then set up a goal to get certain grades and start narrowing down career choices. I promise you, you develop these goals and you keep chasing them, a girl will wanna go for the ride with you.

    • Sorry about all the comments, but I just want to tell you all that because you are what I was when I was your age and I'm now 22 and I'm only just starting to get out of the mess. If I started taking the advice I'm giving you when I was your age, I would have been much better off and much happier than I was up until recently. You'll do great and you'll be okay.

Most Helpful Girl

  • Why do you think you can only date online? Dating online is just like dating in real life. I mean sooner or later u will make plans to meet and if u're not ready to meet your partner he will assume u're not serious enough about him.

    • Because I live in a very tiny town and I don't go to a normal school so I have little irl interaction with girls of my age...

    • Why don't you give yourself a break? You can make friends first and then decide to date after a while.. I mean there s no need to rush anything

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What Guys Said 2

  • Perhaps they go for a real one instead... Who knows, maybe you're not the problem, maybe they are? Don't give up just yet, try once more 😇

  • I think you answered your own question with questions there. You listed all your problems that deflect guys.

    • Because its always one sides fault... the other side obviously can do no wrong... right.

    • Yes. If a fat ugly guy walks into a club he will not even get a hello. If a good looking fit guy walks in, they get attacked by women.

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