Why did he leave?

I've been talking to this guy for round about five months. Last week Wednesday I had my first panic attack in two years and I felt terrible after it so I texted him telling him I needed some space for a few days and I was gone for three days. When I got back he overreacted and was irritated even after I explained what had happened. We got into an argument and it ended up on being much deeper stuff (trust) even though we'd never had a problem like that before and he ended things with me. I'm still trying to comprehend why it happened.

He knew I had anxiety from the jump, I've always been honest about it and he was fine with it so I don't know. I miss him but really I'm just looking for closure.

(I'm a girl by the way I accidentally set my account wrong)


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I don't know exactly what was his motive. But before getting on motives - first a reality check. Girls see a relation from an emotional view of binding and building something on that. Guys they look if the relationship makes a rational sense - like if they get what they need (and most of the times is not love) like you know how to cook excellent meals, you always listen at what he talks, and many times sex. But love has 2 components - a nurturing and a protective one. That is the trap we always fall into - in the start we get all as the guy is trying to find how we fulfil his list. While we pour our souls in the relationship guys are interested on the practical side in the start (only if you pass that test you can expect more - and that test takes more than few months). It's obvious that from his point of view you didn't pass it. Don't beat yourself up (I know is easier to say it than to do it) he was ready to leave for a while now - he was just looking for a way to blame you. Anyway, the clasical motives and I found out they cover almost any guy motive: he thinks you are too neeedy or too emotional, he thinks that you will be a burden on him to take care of you if things get serious, he may even think you are cheating on him when you dissapear for few days and the list goes on and on. Try your best to get over the hurt and next time check this and don't let your emotions to take over until at least 6 months have passed: - from the protective side: do you feel protected and safe in the relationship, do you feel accepted as you are; from the nurturing side: does he have a smile and a good word for you everytime you see each other or talk on the phone, does he touch you and hug you everytime he meets you; and the last but most important one: does he introduce you to his friends. If you don't get all of these for at least 6 months than move on. Nothing will change - you will just get hurt again.

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    • I'd recently started attending church with him and his mother. Before we were official we'd been dating/talking for about three months. His best friend was also aware of me. Out of all my relationships, he respected me the most and he was the only one who didn't appear scared of my illness. So I'm just confused but I understand. Thank you

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What Girls Said 1

  • Baby girl, listen. Any guy that would walk out on you in time of need. When you needed him to support you. Is not worth salt!!! Don't miss him honey!

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What Guys Said 1

  • You said you care about him but just took off for days? can't blame him for thinking other things! The ones you love you should want to be with more so in that kind of situation. Stop looking for closure your never going to get and learn from your mistakes I'm sure there was more to the story then just that

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