Having a hard time not being friends with ex... any advice?

My ex wanted to “temporarily” end the friendship so that he can move on. We haven’t spoken in a month and I’m having some difficulty. I do miss him because we were really close and we were able to be our complete selves with each other. I think the problem is that he still had feelings and once in a blue moon, we’d fuck. (Rarely) So the last day we saw each other, we had sex, and that’s when he said that we can’t be friends. (Which I understand why). When he texted me, I was angry and gave him an ultimatum that if he ended the friendship, I’d never be willing to fix what was broken. With that knowledge, he chose to leave. However, a couple days went by where we didn’t talk and I thought it was the start of no contact. but he messaged me again five days later at like 5am saying he couldn’t sleep because he kept thinking about the situation and said he doesn’t want to end the friendship because we’re so close but he thinks it’s necessary to move on. He then said that he wanted me to be open to a friendship in the future, which I responded “I’ll give you space. Don’t worry”. Then nothing was said after that.


its been a month and it’s been hard for me. In some ways I want closure because it’s hard losing a friend. Any advice?

Updates:
We broke up 4 years ago and have been so close during that time!

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Most Helpful Girl

  • You guys need some time out for the emotions to dies down, it's obviously not just a friendly situation right now and never will be until you deal with the feeling s you have, then after a few months if you still want a 'genuine' friendship, go for it once your attachment to them as a 'partner' has faded.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 4

  • Just end it unless he will or u will keep using each other like friends with benefits. It's just the sex that ur enjoying with each other now and which keeps those texts moving. One will get more hurt and feel used which in ur case will be u. Physical intimacy is not that easy to let go off. But still it has to end. Unless if u both are mature and capable to be just friends with benefits. Which is highly unlikely.

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  • Just don't talk to him. If another human hasn't got something to offer you for your time then don't bother with them.

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  • Befriending exes is almost always a bad idea. Who broke up first?

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  • He would want to use your body they are not loyal with you

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What Girls Said 6

  • I personally think it's better to not be friends with your ex right after a relationship ends. Feelings are still very recent and most times we even stay friends is due to those feelings. Give it time, eventually you'll heal. The main reason why it hurts this badly is because he was your clutch up until now.

    You have to move on guuurl.

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  • Chances are.. He just wanted to stop talking but didn't know how to say it so he fed you something you'd believe. Sad but true...
    I had one I wanted to stay friends with completely stop talking to me one day without warning.

    What I suggest is just trying to get a hold of him. Test him if you still have his number, message him on Facebook, whatever.
    If he doesn't answer, then tell him how you feel. Maybe throw in that if he didn't want to talk to you again, then he could have been honest rather than this bull to keep you lost, confused, and hurting.
    Trying won't hurt. The worst that could happen, he'll just continue to not talk. You don't have much to lose.
    I'd rather try to talk and have him ignore you than to not talk to him and have him wanting you to.

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  • If you aren't going to be friends or have a relationship then you should be the bigger person and say that you enjoyed the time and memories you made together, and wish him the best for the future. Being understanding and reasonable shows you handle the situation well and will probably make him realise it a bit more.

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  • Sounds like beginning of a beautiful relationship. He's working on you.

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  • Just end it. Looks like the pattern will continue if you are still friends. Maybe in a year or so rekindle?

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  • I think the best thing for you would really be to move on. I was in a similar situation and I knew the guy for five years. I loved him very much and sometimes I still think about him, but I found that seeing other people and finding someone else that is special to you is very helpful. As you go on without contacting him, you will find it less difficult to go without him. You just have to get over this first bump in the road. I was never able to get closure, but I feel like if I would have gotten closure, I still would not have accepted his departure from my life.

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    • It so weird because I find this to be the opposite. The longer I go not speaking to him the harder it is. It’s been a month and I think about him way more than I did 2 weeks ago. I’m just hoping this gets easier.

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