Should I wait for him, when he says he is not ready right now?

I've been hanging out with this guy a lot the past month. He is a really reflected person, and we have really enjoyed outselves the time we've spent together
But we had a talk today, and he told me he wasn't in a place right now where he would want something serious. He said he didn't want to get to a place where he developed feelings for me. He said the reason he is telling me this now is so none of us would get hurt that much. And it was not that he wasn't interrested in me, because he is pretty straight up with those kind of things.
The reason for him wanting to cut things off, he explains, is

1) he broke up with his girlfriend this summer, and they had a really bad relationship. And he tells me that he is not at all interrested in getting back together (she has asked many times, but he always gave no as an answer) but he is not completely over the breakup and needs time to heal - what does this mean?

2) He has a mother who is dying, and therefore he just thinks it will get too much if he would start something serious with me right now or the near future, because he has so much going on

We agreed to take distance from eachother, because neither of us wants to do this casual hook-up thing. But my question is: should i put myself on hold for him or just try to move on? I really like him, but i don't want to drag out something that isn't gonna happen. But i dont want to lose contact with him either, cause i think we potentially could be really great together haha


Most Helpful Guy

  • Move on. You don't know when he's going to mentally recover from all that's going on, so you're going to be stuck waiting for you don't know how long.


Most Helpful Girl

  • I think it would be better to move on you don't really know how long you'd have to wait. If you see something potentially serious between you two then maybe wait like a month or something? I don't know or you could just stay friends with him and support him but move on with someone who is ready to be in a relationship

    • Yes we are friends and all and we won't avoid eachother or antyding like that. We are just not meeting up or going to talk so much anymore. But do you think he would eventually reach out to me, if he concludes he wants to pick up where we left? If i just "forget" him?

    • But he might never be ready to be in a relationship with you so i don't think you should wait too long for him. If you move on and he then wants you he kinda missed his chance. Maybe tell him you plan on moving on and won't wait forever

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What Guys Said 0

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What Girls Said 2

  • No. He has to get himself together, and you cannot be apart of that right now. He is a person who is broken and is dealing with a lot that is much bigger than you. Don't be with him because you pity him. You be with him because you can handle it. Because you can't go by feelings. Think rationally. Is he somebody who shares the same principles, values, beliefs, faith if any, morals and views as you? Because you don't want to be with a person you barely even know. All it sounds like this is, is fooling around mixed in with something highly serious. I understand his position. And I've been in his position losing a parent wise. So I'm telling you this from somebody who just lost a parent. It is not a good time. Because he cannot promise you anything.

  • Follow your heart, always.
    And make your dreams, your reality.

    • What do you mean by this?

    • Well, follow what your heart says to you. And then start living your truth. What you really want, manifest it, into your reality. Dream it, and take steps towards it. Whatever that it is, in your heart.

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