Is this cheating?

My ex and I were together for about 7 years until I broke up with her because her difficult issues and how she would ignore any attempt in the working on the issues but I still deeply loved her.

A few months after the breakup we would see each other every now and again until I asked her if she would like to work on things with me. She suggested couples therapy which I was for but she had also paid to sign up for a dating site called Plenty Of Fish and had met someone that month that she was considering being with.

I understood that she doesn't want to be alone and can do whatever she wants. I asked her to decide and she said she had to think about it. She told me that she was attracted to him because he reminded her of me. While she wasn't sure what she wanted, she focused on our issues while ignoring the issues she had with the other guy. I asked her to be fair with me because she wasn't accepting the flaws fairly between both of us.

Anyway she said because of our history that she wasn't going to get back together and date this guy instead. It made me feel betrayed and cheated. Maybe not cheated on but cheated in another way. She knew she was responsible for our break up and admitted she wanted something where she wasn't at fault, to validate herself.

Ultimately I'm grateful that she rejected me because I do not want to be with someone that won't work on the relationship when things get hard. But I still feel like I deserved some loyalty and consideration from her after being good to her for so many years. I regret loving someone so immature but I now have the experience to avoid that in the future.


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Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 1

  • I wouldn't consider this cheating because you had already split when she met someone else.
    I can understand the feeling of betrayal because she gave you hope that there was a possibility of sorting things out. However, she did tell you that she had met someone else and was seriously considering them.

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    • She told me there was an 80% chance she was coming back to me. And her work friends would tell her to let me go that I had my chance but only because she didn't tell them the whole story so that she doesn't look bad in front of them.

    • She was wrong for keeping you there and lining up somebody else as well. It is abuse of your feelings and emotions in the situation. The good thing is that you don't have to put up with a liar and a decepticon !

    • Should I be looking for an autobot? Lol

What Guys Said 5

  • Well , you have answered yourself the answer in last paragraph. Somebody who didn't understand ur value isn't worth going forward. She has her issues and she what she wanted is someone who lives by her with those flows. I think u both are not ready for each other.

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    • Definitely not but I still done if I was screwed over out of negligence or inconsideration

  • It's not cheating, but it's not being completely honest either. She wanted to have her cake, and eat it to. Good for you for walking away. She seems fickle, and willing to jump ship anytime the going gets tough. You're better off without her.

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  • "A few months after the breakup we would see each other every now and again until I asked her if she would like to work on things with me."

    You are a pussy. No, you broke up and you can't let go.

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    • Yeah I have a big problem letting her go. But because it was 7 year long relationship. You don't just shake that off. Especially when you were getting engaged and all that. My query was did I get screwed over in some way.

  • No Bro. She is actually right. Once the trust is gone. It's gone forever. It won't be back to normal. You better forget about her. Or else you won't be able to move on. Don't remind her in your mind or else you are done for.

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    • Working on forgetting about her but what part are you referring to that she is actually right?

  • If you only think about it as cheating, it is cheating. Shame on you.

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    • Shame on me? For what?

    • I don't think of it as cheating. I think of it a similar way of being screwed over

    • We weren't together so I don't think she cheated. I think she could of given me more justification

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