My ex-boyfriend and his best friend moved into the same apartment complex as my boyfriend and I. How do I manage this?

During college, my ex-boyfriend and I were together for three years. We broke up because I found out he had cheated on me four months into our relationship and he used to drink too much. Today, my friend and I were returning from the liquor store with OJ & champagne and we saw his best friend; his friend introduced my ex to me and we have always been friends. We drank mimosas and caught up with his friend and he said that he was living with my ex - three doors down from my apartment. The inevitable is that my current boyfriend and I will frequently run into my ex-boyfriend. I haven't seen or spoken to my ex-boyfriend in three years. My current boyfriend is not the possessive type but he will get jealous in some situations. Today, my boyfriend went skiing but I will tell him when he gets home. He previously had issues with my ex because he would continue to contact me after we got together and say that he missed me/loved me and doesn't want to be with anyone else. How would you feel if your girlfriends ex moved in down the hall from you?


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What Guys Said 17

  • Love how you claim too much drinking was one reason you broke up, but yet half this story involves you buying liquor and drinking yourself. Can't help you.

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  • I would tell you to just please let me know if he puts his hands on you against your wishes. If he talks to you remember that you have two options, respond or don't. But I can get what you're trying to get out here. Nobody wants to say it so I will. If I was 30 again and saw him in the building we lived I'd ask him not to nicely "did you even look anywhere else to find an apartment or what?". But first I should've asked you, did he know where you two live before getting his spot?

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  • i would make it clear that she's offlimits and if he oversteps his boundries ill beat his life out of him

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  • Either you want him back or you don't. There is no reason to talk to him if your in a relationship. None of that "just being nice" bs. Otherwise it won't end well for you or your current boyfriend.

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  • Simple: Don't care.

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  • I wouldn't give a shit. He's the ex for a reason. So what if he lives in the same complex?

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  • Honestly the only path left is honesty itself...

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  • Lots of loud wallbreaking sex... its fun and it upsets the ex

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  • I think It's ideal for one or the other to move out because It's not going to go away.

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  • Ignore each other at least you do that and tell your boyfriend everything clearly so that it doesn't make any misunderstandings between you guys.

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  • Best to do is make clear that you have moved on, that you are not interested in your ex anymore and to trust your boyfriend

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  • I don't think this is problem

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  • he's just a guy-no more-no less

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  • Stay civil. Eventually the initial awkwardness will pass.

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  • Stop being a thot and ignore him. Just ignore him like you would ignore a stray rabies infected dog.

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  • The fact that this feels like an issue tells me that you may not trust yourself around your ex.

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  • Very territorial over the fact

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What Girls Said 4

  • You manage it by being friend-ly to your ex in passing at the apartment. just say hi and keep moving. You don't invite him over or drink with the ex. It would be awkward at first for me but if you just maintain relationship as i've described, you really can't get in any trouble. Plus its good that you are going to tell your boyfriend. Let him know you feel awkward about it and you want to make sure he's comfortable because the ex doesn't mean anything to you and you are very happy with your boyfriend.

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  • Well itd suck and gonna have a lot of new trust issues popping up. Maybe not necessarily against you but if he used to contact you a lot your new boyfriend may get worried.

    Hopefully you don't run into each other that often. Just try not to make a big deal about it.

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  • Who cares, itโ€™s been three years since you spoke to the guy, get over it and move on. Or move out.

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  • I think the answer is pretty simple. If you have to deal with your ex just keep it clear your not interested. As for your boyfriend keep an open line of communication. If your communicating and he feels like it's a problem after 3 years of not talking to your ex I would say there is a different underlying issue. Dealing with exes isn't always easy, but if it's been that long even if your ex tries approaching you, just be honest with your current and make sure he knows that it isn't some big thing. You can't choose where your ex moves and maybe he does think he can try rekindling the fire. Just be honest and let him know living there doesn't mean you have to deal with him, if he can't keep out of your current relationship then ignore him (I know it's a pain) but the truth is when exes get clingy making it clear you have moved on is key.

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    • I agree with this intellectual person ๐Ÿ‘

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