How to get over anger after break up?

I'm just so angry all the time and I just want him to be miserable, I just want him to sit and wallow in what a pathetic person he is. I've blocked him on fb, deleted his number, I don't ask about him and avoid places he could be, so it's not like he's constantly in my face for me to feel this. I just don't understand why this hatred and anger is still following me about when I'm trying so hard to move on and better myself, I'm not a nasty person so this is shocking me that I'm thinking like this. I've broke up before and not felt like this, is there any advice on how to move on?


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What Guys Said 17

  • Go out with your friends and have a good time. Don't sit at home and wallow in anger. I also suggest that you consider seeking professional help. I speak highly of counseling because I have been seeing the same woman for 34 + years now. Not as often as I did when I was 19, but I still find it very effective. As for him being miserable? There's this thing I truly believe in called "karma" and it's been known to...

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  • You are angry when memories come back, maybe angry you can't get over him, maybe angry you still have feelings for him or that he broke down that barrier you put up and made it in?
    Still in your mind and you can't get it out? Thats what makes you angry, hmmm.

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  • To have anger after a breakup on bad terms is competely normal, but it's not good for you and you need to move on. Do things you enjoy to get your mind off of the breakup and once your head is clear again you can think about meeting someone else.

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    • Thank you he was in a relationship less than a month after me and I'm angry that he move down on so quick, I don't know how he can heal so quickly. But I do need to clear my head more, thank you for answering

  • I can't say anything really except that it will fade with time. I suggest getting into a hobby to distract you.

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  • I'm working on getting past a break up too and there is no quick fix for any of it. It sucks and the best thing is someone to vent to. Someone who won't just say get over it

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  • You have some serious Jodi Arias level issues...

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  • I am searching for something similar too. :(

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  • whiskey weed and chill.

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  • Take-up cross stitching. It builds patience and is very relaxing.

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    • It is something always wanted to try so I will consider it!

  • It sounds like you're mad that he played you, which is understandable. But you're lying to yourself when you say that he wasn't good enough for you & didn't make you feel something for him. You have to move on.

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  • Why. did you break

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  • Wait and you'll calm down eventually

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  • My guess is that you feel like this because you really liked him. What'd he do?

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  • you should remove the conflicts, otherwise go for sincere relationship

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  • Heck knows but if you did and you bottled it, big money, possibly...

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  • I'm in the same position you're in but in my case it's with a few close friends who used me, backed talked me behind my back & literally abondened me

    The hatred is mutual from me to you I can fully understand but in all honesty well never get over our anger in the long run let's be honest

    In a scale from 1 to 10 in a few years where you'll have time to reflect on your anger & hatred it'll be on the lower scale where instead of anger it's just bitterness that's maybe a 5 on the scale? In my case I'm never going to be completely healed in my case but compared to when I got betrayed it's a 5 out of 10

    You'll get over it somewhat in the long run not completely ever trust me

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  • The anger is there because you have not forgiven him. Most people do not realize that forgiveness sets them free, and has little to do with the person they are forgiving. Until you can do that, then you will continue to hold onto the anger... which is like holding onto a burning rock... while he just gets on with his life.

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    • I know you're right, but I don't think he deserves forgiveness, he wants no hard feelings between us after what he did yet won't apologise, I told him he wasn't a nice person. He wasn't in a new relationship in least than a month, it's so hard but I guess I need to forgive hunny for my own mental health

    • See, that's the mistake that most people make. Think about it. Say that you never forgive him because ''he doesn't deserve it''. That will make zero difference to him, but it will cause resentment and anger to build within you.

What Girls Said 9

  • Try by redirecting your anger to things that can lead to good results... When I ended up my previous (and really toxic relationship) The first thing I did was paying a gym membership and started lifting weights to drain anger also HIIT helped a lot.. It was last year, now I have an amazing new boyfriend and a very curvy/fit body.

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  • I think, the best way to get back at an ex that did your wrong is showing him how Happy you are WITHOUT him. Right now, you're showing him the anger there is in your heart. If I were you, I would unblock him, and go to places he might be with friends. Show him how much fun you're having WITHOUT him.

    You probably have unanswered questions as to why you guys broke up?

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    • Yea I just dont. Understand after one fight... that we both needed to apologise over, he just sat and ignored me then was in a new relationship less than a month later, and tries to think hat things would be cool with us? How does a grown man think that?
      Thank you so much for your answer it has give me a lot to think about

    • No problem, girl! Some guys are like that, other guys actually need time to move on. Dont worry about him anymore, and forget his mofo ass.

  • It seems that you did love him so much... that can be the explanation for your anger. Breaking up with him hurt you sooo deeply. You will need time to rengenarete, to calm down, to work up the situation. Allow yourself some time for it. I think it is ok to be angry. If you allow yourself to be angry, it may vanish, or it may calm down later.

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  • It sure is the side effect of breakup.. nothing to feel bad about coz this sure will pass... This relation might have meant a lot to you so may be you are hurt... or maybe even your ego or self pride is smashed... u just need to give yourself time...

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  • Give it time.

    Are you angry because you cared too much?

    Maybe write down why you are angry or why you're unhappy.

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    • I never let myself get into relationships and he's the one who convinced me to let my guard down, one major fight and there was no talk about anything just finished and he's in a relationship 3-4 weeks later. I'm angry at him to say he loved me and to move on like that, I'm angry at myself for letting my guard down. But most of all I'm angry that I feel like this, I don't want him back, I don't want to be dating a man child with no prospects,, this break up is the best thing for me yet why do I feel this way? I'm going to try writing everything down tomorrow, thanks for replying

    • Im sorry you are feeling like this.

      This is a good start to understanding your emotions.

      What I'm getting from you is that your angry because you feel like he wasted your time and convinced you into this relationship that he did not take time to fend for.

      Everything happens for a reason. Hope you find happiness again.

    • Thank you you're so kind

  • Let it be. Don't rush it. Let yourself mourn your loss in whatever way it manifests. But live on. Modifying your life because of him may have made you resent him.

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  • You need closure

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    • I know but I'm not going to get it from him he was in a new relationship within a month of us splitting up, to be fair it sounds like it's over already but when I spoke to him about ignoring me after the break up and fight he just said there's no point going into it. Hence the blocking and keeping my distance :(

    • The fact he jumped into another relationship straight after kind of shows he's not very self reliant. If you can't get closure (because he's a prick) keep yourself active and go out with your friends, book a girls holiday, start new hobbies! All these things are so good for you after break-ups, eventually you'll meet someone 100x better! ❤️

    • Thank you so much for taking time and replying I really needed to hear this, I'm going to clear my head and heart out and try new things and stop moping about the house, which is basically all I've done.

  • Hmmmm kinda relate ha i felt that too when i lost someone i tend to become irritable moody and sometimes without even knowing i already hurt other people coz of my sudden outburst huhu

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  • Ok, maybe this will work, maybe not. But I really appreciate Amy Young's Youtube channel. Always helps cheer me up a little.

    https://www.youtube.com/user/AMYoungster

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