How to deal with mom's sugar daddy situation?

I swear this is not made up, this is really happening to me and I don't know what to do. I'll keep the story concise so you won't have to read a wall of text.

Basically my mom has been in an unsatisfying/toxic marriage ever since I was five. This guy is my step dad, and while he is a good person he has a toxic temper and can be super possessive. He also let himself go really badly and doesn't even do basic things like groom. My mom always put her marriage issues on me and complained about how she never has sex or feels wanted. I went and saw her recently and she took my shopping for my birthday, which was fun, but my step dad ended up blowing up because she wasn't spending time with him that day.

My mom reveals to me that the money she spent on me came from a man who is interested in her and who she apparently fell in love with. She asked me what she should do, and I said if she really loves him to be with him but do it the proper way. The issue is, is this guy is like a sugar daddy. Always giving her money and offering to buy her houses when she leaves. The thing is, is she's not leaving yet and plans to in a few months - all while I have to keep her relationship a secret. She claims she isn't having sex with him, but wants to.

I feel so awkward and guilty, I don't know what to do. I truthfully don't want to get involved any further but my mom told this guy all about me, and he tries to offer me money as well. I don't accept it.

I don't know what to do. Can anyone suggest anything?


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What Guys Said 5

  • Your mom just needs someone to talk too. She needs some help, someone to bounce ideas around with. The new guy with money, sometimes guys use money to buy your acceptance. It isn't necessarily a red flag. He just may be trying to get you to like him, and he doesn't know how to other than throwing money around. Ultimately your mom deserves better and for sure needs to get away from her husband. The only thing I would caution is to make sure this new guy is the right guy and not just someone to escape with and end up back into another bad relationship.

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  • You know that she's been in a abusive relationship for years. Let her vent to you. She deserves to get out of her current situation. You don't have to deal with the future boyfriend.

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  • Y'all should keep tf out of this because it's none of your business

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  • Why is she waiting?

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    • 6d

      Because she doesn't want to ruin Christmas and because she is planning on getting everything set up and just leaving for safety reasons apparently.

  • What’s wrong with him that he is always offering money?
    What is in place of or because of?
    Think about that question.

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    • 6d

      She claims he's a nice guy who is trying to help her because my step dad controls her money. But honestly I don't know what to think or what to do.

What Girls Said 1

  • She should have a proper break up with you Stepdad. Simple as that. Divorce and end of story. If she then wants get together with the new guy you should accept it.

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