Time is important here. I need honest, useful, "what would I PERSONALLY do in this situation." Because I'll be thankful to everyone who will be reading this but, I really need advice that will make something happen. Advice like, "hmmm, this would work for me" or "this would not work. Do THIS..." will be the best advice, especially from all the women here. Anything that doesn't sound like this won't be helpful. "All girls are different..." or "move on" are gonna be the worst answers! Lol.
I've been broken up with my ex for about a year and half. Got a boyfriend almost immediately.
(sucks, I know.) Probably because there was a lack of communication in the "where we stand" in the relationship. Both wanting commitment, only one (yes me) to scared to tell her I felt the same way about her. Don't get me wrong, I wasn't unfaithful or a player or anything, just didn't let her know where the relationship was going. I think she got scared and broke up with me before she herself got hurt, as a defense mechanism. For the better part of that year that we were apart, I told her how I felt and almost seemed to get through, but she wouldn't leave him. "It's not that easy" she'd say. And it isn't I'm sure. I wouldn't be able to just break up with a girl because an ex came around. I understand her dilemma. But sadly, I began losing hope. I know she knew how I felt by now, and if she was acting on it, than surely she doesn't want to be with me. I mean, can you still sleep with another guy everyday and spend time with them but still miss your ex, when the ball is in your court anyway?
So for the remaining half of the "year and half" part, the conversation dwindled. I stopped initiating them, and her "drunk calls" confessing her love me also died down. I stopped due to the advice that I would only be boosting her ego and that "if she wanted to be with you, she would, " saying I got from my friends all the time, and I kinda believe that to be true to an extent. But circumstances and situations are different and unique. So here's where I need advice:
I'm almost pretty sure she called ms about 2 weeks ago private, and left kind of a 3 worded voice mail saying "hey there." that was it. After about 6 months of no contact except for me wishing her a happy b day about a month ago over text. So I wonder, maybe, just maybe there's still an open window. What I want to do is text her that on my b day, I said an extra wish for her. That I miss her and hope she is getting everything she wants out of life, because she deserves it. That's it. More or less. Short and sweet. So, should I? I want to reach her core, without wanting to come across as needy or desperate. Because I'm not. I just miss her is all. And love her, unconditionally apparently lol. So, would hearing that make a difference to you? Would that make you upset that I still have feelings for you or would not hearing from me really make the heart grow fonder? I don't want to regret not saying anything.
Most Helpful Girl
There's absolutely no harm in sending that text. It's giving her one last chance. If she does want to take action, you have made it perfectly clear that she can. And if you send exactly that text messege, I don't see how that could upset her, unless she's already beating herself up about it.
Since I believe you should live life with no regrets, I would send that text that you proposed, exactly as it is. word for word. I said an extra wish for you. I miss you and hope you're getting everyting you want out of life because you deserve it.
no more than that.
After that, you can continue to love her unconditionally, but look for someone else to start to love that way too.0THIS IS NOT RELEVANT ANYMORE
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