Why would a girl break up with me because she smokes pot and I don't?

I'm in a career field where I can't do drugs. She told me over text she thinks it won't work out between us because she could never give up marijuana, and that it is a conflict of interest for me to date her. Is this just a shitty excuse to dump me or what? I told her I don't give a shit about her drug use basically, and all I need to worry about is not doing drugs myself. She has medical issues and I am perfectly fine with that and understand that.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Yes, she will break up with you eventually (or sooner). Think of dating a hardcore gamer when you have no idea what your SO is talking about, and seeing her/him playing alone for hours while you just sit there MYOB.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Dump her man lol wtf

    She basically just said she's gonna put pot before you. And you didn't even ask her to choose.

    Kick the bitch to the curb

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What Girls Said 5

  • Wow! 😳 I think you might need to raise your standards a little! Heavy daily drug use in a relationship always leads to problems. She clearly has an addiction problem, if she is willing to choose drugs over a person, or relationship. Be glad you got out early!

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    • Here's the problem: I don't date out of my age range for moral and personal reasons. Most girls I run into that age have baggage. I come across unattainable to them, so the auto reject me before I can damage their insecure ego. I have my act together, in athlete shape, skilled, have a degree, Journeman's license, commission, money in the bank etc. Women I consider to be on par with me are already married, or are fleeting and hard to find. I would love to find a woman on the same page as me emotionally, physically, and career wise, but they are like a unicorn. I feel like I will be alone my whole life unless I am more open.

    • Everyone has baggage. Life has a way of giving you baggage the moment you step into the world. It's how you let that baggage effect other aspects of your life, and if you use it as a excuse/ allow it to stop you from achieving in life. you yourself seem to have emotional baggage. ( e. g. Preconceived notions about women your age). Do you think that these opinions could be stopping you from finding a potential partner? E. g. You think that all women your age have baggage, therefore you give off an air of superiority, and therefore distance yourself from quality women? Because quality women don't have the time or inclination to have to 'prove' themselves to you. ... 🤔

  • as someone who smokes a lot I don't know if I could date anyone who doesn't either. it's a big part of my life and I prefer to date people who I can share it with so I understand where she's coming from.

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    • then why would she lead me on when she already knew I was a military guy?

    • Only she may know for sure, but just by other experiences, I may say, that she def likes you, but she didn't think that her hobby was going to be an issue, and even then, when she invited you, she didn't think of the true consequences to your career. In her mind is a very innocent thing to do (I am not saying the opposite, I am just saying it on the military context).

  • Because she feels like she's doing you a favour and probably doesn't want to influence you into taking drugs as well. Probably trying to be 'considerate'. Just my thought.

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  • Does she have medical issues that aren't menstrual cramps? Sounds like she wants a guy in the pot scene that can smoke with her and buy her pot. Anyway your better off without her baggage. It's cute now but what happens when you have kids and there's a junky on the couch smoking pot all day that doesn't work, cook, clean, do laundry or take care of the kids and you've no money for groceries because she bought weed with it.

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  • She sounds like she prioritizes drugs over you.

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    • That is depressing. I pretty much give up on finding a decent girl my age. Any time a meet a girl I like my age they always have some bullshit baggage. They are single for a reason. I'll just be a bachelor and go focus serving my country.

What Guys Said 21

  • Maybe she felt that you were judging her? Non-drug users often come off as judgmental and I'm not going to lie, I probably would have to be included in that group even if I try not to. I do think it's a bad excuse but at the same time, I can understand how she might feel this way.

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  • Sounds like she would rather smoke weed than be with you. I smoke 24/7 trust me. But seriously it sounds like maybe she is using it as a shitty excuse to break up as well. Best advice here is really move on she isn't interested.

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  • Think about it this way...

    If you are ok with being different and she isn't, then it probably would have fell apart over something bigger later on.

    She didn't want to compromise and you tried to meet her half way and she didn't want to bother with it.

    It would probably be best to move on buddy

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  • TBH, sounds to me like you dodged a bullet. No offense, but any woman who dumps you because you won't engage in recreational drugs with them, just did you a favor by saving you an inevitable shit storm in the future.

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  • The question is why didn't you break up with her?

    If you are around her, you may very well test positive and your career will be over.

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