How to get over a relationship that didn't even have a chance to develop?

I met this guy, we had an instant connection. I felt like I knew him for ages, we've had a lot of things in common, he said multiple times how I'm the first person he could trust from the start. We've been together for 3 weeks and last 2 days he was distancing himself and I felt something wasn't right. I asked him what's going on and we talked and he said that he doesn't know what to do because he can picture us together, it feels good to be with me, he feels comfortable around me but that he thinks the timing isn't right. The thing is, he got dumped few months ago after 3 years and even though he said he hates his ex and would never get back to her, after all she's done, I know he would and that he's still attached to her. He said he hates himself that he turned out to be just another guy to pass in my life and that he wants to hang out with me and keep me in his life if I want that too. That was two days ago and he didn't contact me which applies that it was a lie. Now, I'm not sure if he really meant what he said or it was just his nice way of dumping me and I'm really sad because I really liked the guy and thought we could actually have something nice. So, how do I move on and stop thinking about him and what would be if the timing was right or if was he just a bit honest or everything was a lie.. I have to study a lot but I can't because he bounces in my head all the time. So, how do I keep him out of my head and freaking move on? I could really use some help or advice..


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What Guys Said 7

  • Basically, keep moving. I know it feels like you won't ever get over the emotional attachment, and its true that a part of that may always linger, but it will fade. You will fond someone who actually values you, and is just as crazy for you as you are for them. Thats when you know. Until then, if you get knocked down, just pick yourself up and keep moving.

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  • As you mentioned, the relationship never had the chance to develop. Why morn the loss of something you never really had. My advise is to try and carry on, you never know what might have happened in the future but maybe this is for the best. Continue your life and if things are meant to be then you will meet again.

    And honestly you don't want to be someone's rebound and so maybe it would be best to give this guy some time to be alone.

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    • 7d

      My logical part gets that and agrees, but other part the emotional just can't get over this. Not now, not easy. I keep thinking "what if we didn't rush into a relationship and met few months ago..", all what ifs and that's killing me..

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    • 7d

      Maybe.. Yeah, I'll try my best.. Thanks (:

    • 7d

      I wish you the best and know that you will get through this :)

  • Exact same thing happened to me more or less you shouldn't contact him at all its not worth it.

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  • I went through a nasty break up of sorts a few years ago. Something that I found to work nicely is to wear s rubber band around your wrist. Every time you catch yourself thinking about this person, pop the rubber band onto your skin. You'll eventually associate the pain with him, blocking him out a bit more effectively. As far as the other bit goes, sounds like he could be afraid of commitment. Three years does sound like it would hurt. To build all that and have it vanish. Maybe he saw you two were really hitting it off and didn't want the past to repeat itself?

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    • 7d

      Well if that's the thing, that' bs because we've all been hurt before and instead of having something good he kinda chickened out and walked away.. Thank you for the rest, I hope I'll pass this soon

  • The reason why he hasn't contacted you since could be that he feels embarrassed or guilty and he's trying to process all the emotions of this situation. Besides, it's only been two days. Maybe you could try reaching out to him to casually hang out, or you could try letting him go since he still isn't over his ex. My friend was in a similar situation as your guy, and she felt the need to break up with her next boyfriend, but they remained friends.

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    • 7d

      I could but, no matter how much i want him to be in my life I know that if I continue hanging out, I'll still have feelings or even worse develop stronger ones while he either doesn't want to be with ME or he was telling the truth and isn't really ready to move on and commit to anyone.. Can you tell me more about your friend's situation? (:

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    • 7d

      Oh, kinda similar to the story this guy told me about his ex.. I'm sorry for your friend, for what happened to her, no one deserves someone like that, I hope she will move on soon..

    • 7d

      Thank you very much. I think she might have by now since she's been in other relationships since then

  • Just move on.

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  • or it's a excuse because other people intimidated him or he really needs to work this out ( I think it's someone else )

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What Girls Said 4

  • You. Need to tell yourself that you don’t need to waste time thinking about a guy who doesn’t want to be with you.

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  • By realizing anyone who truly wants you will be with you regardless of their pasts. He's not worth it.

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  • Just break up

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  • Just roll with it

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