Would you ever forgive a person for going through your smart phone without permission while drunk?

My ex left his phone out and I looked at it. We were both drunk and he passed out. Left it on the table. So while I was drunk I messed with it. Deleted stuff. I don’t remember what exactly but I am usually harmless. This is totally like me. We had sex and he kept professing he loved me all night. But when he woke up to a phone I’d gotten on he has yet to forgive me or talk to me. I think it will take time but for now I am staying away. The damage is done. I don’t know.


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What Guys Said 23

  • Well, full discloser. I'm not one who thinks a couple seeing each others phone is some horrific breach of etiquette. I'm usually open in a relationship, if we've been together for a bit and I'm in love and committed, I don't care if she sees or look at my phone. There's nothing in there I want to hide. I'd be mad if she changed things in my phone or ruined things and deleted things. That would make me mad. I'm sure I'd get over it if she were drunk and it wasn't intentional meanness.

    In your story or situation, what jumps out to me the most is "she was drunk". I'm not really big on relationships with those who drink a lot and routinely get drunk as if it is normal healthy behavior.

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    • That’s what makes it unusual. We have only been drunk as a couple a couple of times. We don’t drink together often at all. The norm is sober and being out together as a family with our child. This wouldn’t have happened if he was sober and i was sober, too. He makes it a policy normally not to drink with women because he does not like to be drunk with women. We’re sober 99% of the time. Then life is easier for us.

  • Why are people so butt hurt about someone going through your phone? Who cares? It's not like they're digging through my asshole, it's a fucking phone.

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  • Yes i would forgive someone especially when ones under the influence of alcohol and they go through my own personal belongings such as a Smartphone it's not a deal breaker.

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  • Sorry to say that but its a very nasty move and invasion of privacy don't be that possisive with a man we hates it

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  • Since you were drunk i would probably forgive you sooner than if you were sober. Would still be pissed, but would get over it.

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    • I hope he does. I don’t want to be that person. I’m not perfect, but i wish i could be better.

  • If I was already very close with someone, to the point that I already trust them with my sensitive personal information, I could possibly forgive that. But if it was someone I recently started dating, then I’m done with her. That kind of lack of respect for boundaries early on is a red flag.

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    • We have been on and off for many years. I know him very well. We see each other almost everyday.

  • Absolute trust is like virginity. When it is gone, it is gone forever.

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  • Nice eyes

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  • It would hurt, especially if they deleted something precious to me, but given time it's not unforgivable. They were drunk - I could only be so mad about that

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    • In time i hope he realizes it wasn’t intentional and i wouldn’t have if i was sober.

  • Depends, how long were you two dating?

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    • We have been on & off for 4 years. Plus a child

    • "On and off" suggests to me that you two fall out often so maybe this is just another fight?

      It is a very minor crime to commit. You were drunk and you say you wouldn't do it sober so it sounds harmless.

      I would be pretty angry with you so i know why he's reacted the way he did. He should probably lock his phone in future.

      He will take you back if he truly loves you. Good luck!

    • He was texting last night so that’s a good sign. Maybe just one more dumb thing and with time it will be in the past. I appreciate your time and input:)

  • As long as I get the phone back intact, I don't care. There are no secrets in it. But I won't trust that person any longer.

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    • It is clear the trust between us needs a lot of work. He lies a lot. I know it and tell him i accept him. He lies from insecurity but this action on my part was unnecessary.

  • Sure but I don't care much about people going through my phone in the first place. It's not that private.

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    • I️ feel the same way. He is overly protective and lies. It’s why when i can i look. It is not right. But we have a child together who is a toddler. I want to know what he won’t tell me or will lie about.

  • It's just like someone finger you in the bum.. Without asking first. You just don't do it!

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  • sure

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  • Of course I would. It's not that big of a deal.

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    • I️ like the way you think :)

    • People who guard their phones like they're gold are completely insecure. It's just a freakin' phone. It's a disposable belonging. We change them like we do underwear. It's a useful tool, not an essential part of life.

  • 100 % no

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    • I can appreciate that motto but humans make human mistakes.

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    • I would not have touched it if sober, period.

    • I agree with you. Thanks for wishing me well. Hoping to never ask this again!

  • I don't know why he's freaking out. If you were drunk, and its like you to do something like this, it shouldn't be a big deal.

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    • I have no clue then. Your boyfriend is acting crazy. Good luck

    • He puts distance between us. He gets mad at me over a lot of things so then he doesn’t have to feel or try in a relationship. But I do love him so neither of us has to be perfect.

  • I have nothing to hide, but now I would know that they don't trust me and that I can't trust them.

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  • I always keep mine locked

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  • That's not forgivable. Respect someones space.

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  • Depends on what they did, I guess.

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  • It's technically a felony, or at least a misdemeanor. The fact that you don't trust him, would be DQable

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  • Legally you committed a crime

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    • I would but i also don’t have anything to hide and whatever got destroyed can be replaced. I am an open book. I own my mistakes.

    • Ultimately, whether you have anything to hide, be it replaceable or irreplaceable the effect is the same. I would eventually be able to talk you but I would never properly forgive, forget, or trust

What Girls Said 1

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