We didn't break up but we were close?

Firstly, I’d like to say, I completely screwed up this one. My boyfriend of a few years and I have been having a bit of a rocky relationship. I felt like there was a huge lack of intimacy. So I tried to talk to him about it on the phone(he is far away) and being the emotional person I am, I started crying when he was being unresponsive. (which is unfair to say. Earlier that day he was being pretty open)

He said it frustrated him because he doesn’t think anything is wrong. And I am making a big deal out of nothing (Which he is probably right)But for some stupid hormonal reason, I just couldn’t let it go. Things have just been so dull between us I want to spice our life up. I’ll admit before this he did start trying again... He was starting to get into it. Slowly but surely. Like he gave me compliments and was even excited and interested. At least a little but I was impatient and tried to hurry him along. Then when he wasn’t responding to me the way I was hoping for I got desperate. When that didn’t work I flipped.

He said I put him on the spot and he told me it really frustrated him because he didn’t know what to say or do. So I tried coaxing a bit more outta him. It kinda pushed him a little far . And he said he just wanted sleep. So I let him go. Them I got super emotional because I thought that maybe I really upset him. SO I texted him to call me. He did and it went downhill from there… I tried to explain to him that I was afraid to lose him and that I was afraid he would lose interest in me. (Basically I saw this movie that said if your man isn’t having sex with you, he is having it from someone else) He got mad and said I should already know he’s not lost interest. And that this is how I act, he might not want to be with me anymore. We didn’t break up but he came very close. What on Earth can I do to say I am sorry without causing more damage?

The sadest part is: I miss him so much and we're not even broken up. Althought I fear he might


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What Guys Said 1

  • I'd just not say ANYTHNG about this phone call. Write it off to a personality difference; you're just more emotional than he can be! If you can't ACCEPT that difference, it's best to move on before there's another crying episode!


What Girls Said 1

  • Stop blaming yourself for your feelings. What is happening here is this is not the right guy for you because he's not able to give you the support you need and make you feel secure.

    Your insecurity is bothering him. What a guy wants is to make a girl happy, and if you're not happy, he's going to think it's because he's doing something wrong and that basically you don't like something about him. Not exactly logical, but that's what guys think.

    The best thing you can do for your guy is act happy and let him know how happy he makes you. Don't fake it, just be real. And if he doesn't make you happy, then don't lie to yourself or him about it. Instead, go out and find a guy who DOES make you happy.

    If you really want to make it with this guy, you need to immediately stop feeling bad, stop getting all emotional for no reason, be happier, act happy when you talk to him, let him know you enjoy talking with him by smiling and chatting about pleasant subjects.

    If you always act all freaked out and sad, he's not gonna want to talk with you at all, esp if he feels he's the reason for it.

    The other thing is, he might just not be that into you, I mean he could even be gay, or he could be interested in other girls. The important thing is, YOU have to be happy with yourself and your life, and then you can attract and keep the right guy for you, whether it's him or someone else.

    Never bash yourself and feel guilty for wanting a guy who makes you feel at ease.


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