I broke up with my boyfriend a few weeks ago after he started being distant and finding excuses not to see each other. He said he'd been feeling depressed and stressed lately but that he still wanted to be with me. I foolishly felt sorry for him until I found out he was on Tinder trying to meet other people. I sent him a bunch of angry texts to which he didn't respond. 2 weeks later I saw him out with a girl and sent him like 5 long angry texts. He has not responded. The lack of accountability or respect drove me crazy. I feel like I just shouldn't have said anything but at the same time I got everything out that I needed to say. I just wish he would acknowledge his lies like an adult and give me closure. Anyone else affected by a lack of closure?
Most Helpful Guy
I didn't get closure after a serious relationship ended. It really bothered me at first, it was all I could think about. But as time goes on, your mind clears and you realize all the reasons you're better off without them, then you don't need the closure anymore.3
Most Helpful Girl
Closure is hugely helpful for the end of a relationship, regardless if it was romantic.
Me and my ex were off and on and off and on for months until he cheated on me. For me that was the end and the closure I needed.
With friends, just recently I’ve had my friend stop being friends because I told my best friend of 20+ years that her boyfriend beats her. She went ballistic and said that because I was the mentally ill one not her partner. (They have 2 kids under 3). I went nuclear at her and that was the closure I needed to end our 10 year friendship.
It took me a long time to come to terms with shutting the door on my mother. I had so many reasons but none of them felt like closure until I spoke with my dad. The years of silent abuse I had endured behind closed doors came out and slowly my dad told me more and more. I think the two things that made me say “I will never speak to her again” was two events. The first was the ultrasound - I’m the 5th child, I have 4 older brothers. Because of the 4th boys complications in pregnancy I was monitored and it was a scan when they found out the sex. My dad was delighted to have a girl after 4 boys, and when he looked at my mum she turned her face away from the screen and cried. My brother died shortly afterwards, which added to her hate for me. My dad came home one day and heard me coughing. He stood in the doorway and saw my mum stationary with a pillow ready to smother me. She started to and he stopped her. The next few days he came home and heard me coughing and found me locked in rooms. It was then I truly shut the door. My mum had offered me to paedophile rings and such and I felt I had done something. When I learnt that even as a foetus and baby I was hated, it was the closure I needed to say it was not my fault.
Closure is important.1