Husband had an affair, should I go to Europe for 10 days to find myself again?

My husband of 5 years, together for 13 years, had an affair with someone I classed as a friend/accquatance. I feel so angry, lost, confused. I feel I need to get away and would like to do something scary and exciting in the hope I get more independance and find myself, like go to Europe by myself. Thoughts?
I would need to borrow some money but I have always been responsible and that hasn't gotten me very far in life. I haven't figured out yet if I'm leaving my husband

  • Yes, go to Europe
    Vote A
  • No, stay at home
    Vote B
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What Guys Said 12

  • You should know what you are doing with your husband before trying to find yourself. Hard to find direction for yourself if you do not know if he will be in the picture. Plus, you may find someone to have a fling with or to get closer with.

    I suggest couples counseling and then deciding about your husband. Then decide how to find yourself.

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  • Fuck that asshole piece of shit. Go to Europe find yourself, treat yourself dont cheat yourself. He's out having affairs and being unloyal fuck that hook up with as many men as u want. Go have sex anywhere and have sex with anyone u want to. Definitely go to Europe a scenery change and new environment sounds exciting

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  • No, what you need to do is figure out what your going to do, running away isn't going to solve anything. You can try and figure out why he cheated (usually a man cheats because their is something missing in his relationship but he still cares about her (according to surveys anyway)) and try to fix the marriage OR you need to divorce him, one of these things needs to happen and running away isn't going to solve them.

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  • Go to Europe to find yourself? Doesn't that mean you're in Europe? You need to divorce, and to find yourself I recommend Zen Buddhism and/or mindfulness which can help you with your inner self. Don't over think it. Just do what you know needs to be done.

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  • I don't think going all the way to Europe would help you. Besides, it's expensive. I would leave him. And I would try taking a break that is fun AND budget friendly.

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  • I would do all I could to get away from everything for a bit. You shouldn't be alone take a friend female or male than you've known world is crazy. Uncle Sam tought me a lot

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  • I guess you should just divorce, and not do anything scary or exciting that you might regret later on...

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  • As rough as it may be, you should discuss with him why he had an affair and if he still cares for you. Usually affairs occur when a need isn't being satisfied and the couple can't/ don't communicate well enough to handle it. There shouldn't be any secrets or desires either of you don't know about.

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  • You might discover he changed all door locks in your absence

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  • Why Europe?

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    • It's the scariest place I could go to get out of my comfort zone

    • Maybe Eastern Europe. If you really want scary, how about giving North Korea a crack?

  • Don't leave. Face Adversity With A Smile!
    Keep Your Head Up & This Too Shall Pass..
    Just remember, everyone here Loves <3 You!
    Take Care & God Bless!

    <3 <3 <3

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  • Go to Europe because everyone should if they have the chance.
    Leave the hubs tho, fuck that cheating bastard.

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What Girls Said 10

  • Yes-Europe-but for 10 weeks, not 10 days. Then come home and do what you have to do

    I feel for you sister.
    Don't blame yourself. And don't feel the least bit of guilt when you leave this cheater.

    Make a great future life for yourself. Find another guy if you have to, one who won't cheat.

    And maybe even make a new home somewhere in Europe :)

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    • And sometimes its better to forgive, you can t run away from your problems

    • Show All
    • @Danielleo not, not Spanish :)
      I live in Oregon

    • @Danielleo and thanks for agreeing with me.

  • Girl, eat pray love it out! Now you're so angry and emotional you won't be able to think straight. And worse, your husband may try to convince you to make things seem better than they really are. What you need is better perspective on things, and traveling is always best for that.

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  • Go, and clear your thoughts... be free try to have fun and not worry. Let the answers come to you. Also arrange for lots of things to do, sightseeing, nature trails, reservations, the whole nine yards. Go and have your "me" time. Then think long and hard bout if you can really forgive and move on. If you think you can and believe he won't do it again... stay. You know yourself better than anyone... if you thing it will always bother you and you'll always see him as guilty or you don't think he's worth the trouble of it all... run for the hills.

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  • If you define 'find myself again' as cheating on your husband to make things 'even'...
    Sure.

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  • Do whatever makes you relax

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  • First you should talk to him about the "whys" and about his feelings, future plans. In my opinion if he is in love with that other person, the biggest punishement would be if you didn't leave him, didn'"t divorce him at all, so they wouldn't be able to get married and "live happily ever after". But that is only depends on you... You are the wife! Don't give that respectful position to a whore!

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  • Go to Columbia. The men are hot and salsa dancing is a way of life.

    And stay 3 months.

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  • Any excuse to go on vacation is a good one for me.

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  • Go on a trip for sure. I wouldn't leave the country alone right now though

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  • No, you should go downtown to find a lawyer.

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